Jo McHale and Kirstin Heidler

Jo McHale

Jo McHale is a Certified trainer in Nonviolent Communication, mediator and relationship coach. She works with individuals, couples and groups to create trust and emotional safety, repair relationships and find ways forward that work for everyone involved. Like Ceri and Sarah, she has been part of the UK Conflict Transformation Weave since its inception, with the intention of bringing a restorative approach to conflict to as wide an audience as possible. She also runs online groups, attracting participants with backgrounds in coaching and business who appreciate the practical emphasis on bringing NVC consciousness and approach to bear on challenging situations.

Her website is www.jo-mchale.com.

Kirstin Heidler

I was studying for a Master’s degree in Software Engineering when I came across NVC and came to the conclusion that I did not want to be a Software Engineer. While Software Engineering is engaging cognitively, I wanted to work on the truly hard problems and I see these to be in the delicate and beautiful relationships between the people of our human family.

From a very young age (I was born in 1991) I remember thinking how pointless and senseless conflict was and if people just talked sensibly with each other there wouldn’t be so much pain. It seems to me that I had to learn, unlearn and relearn many times over what makes communication and conflict so difficult and that my assumption is true only with a supportive mindset and the necessary skills and that finding these can be very challenging. 

My first introduction to NVC was by a trainer who was not certified in any way and taught NVC as part of a course on employee management at my university. This was in 2014. Nonetheless, I understood what NVC was about at its core and fell in love with it. It felt like finally finding something that made sense and where my way of looking at the world and other people made sense instead of being looked at as insane or naive. As a young child my father read the children’s Bible to me and I was very inspired by Jesus. Because of my environment I then became an atheist, but the beautiful message of radical love and nonviolence stayed with me. I see NVC as pointing to spiritual truth concerning life and offering valuable practices for transforming our judgements and thoughts to life-connected thinking and communication.

Since learning about NVC I undertook my journey of growth and transformation (which I hope will never end). I had to learn to be transparent and expressive about my emotions, I had to learn to dance with my shame, I had to learn to regulate my nervous system, let go of control, go through anxiety and stop unhelpful thought patterns. I had to learn to really sit with my own pain. It has been humbling and rewarding and helps me to express more fully my beautiful human core. 

In this journey I have looked into many things including the nervous system and interpersonal neurobiology, nonviolence, A Course in Miracles, Restorative Circles, Trauma and recovery and more. I have been influenced by Dominic Barter, Miki Kashtan, Sarah Peyton, Micheal Nagler, Mohandas K. Gandhi, Eckhart Tolle, Sue Marriott & Ann Kelly, Carl Rogers and many many more.