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Learning Tool

10 minutes

4/30/2024

Feelings and Needs form the cornerstone of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), offering a profound framework for cultivating empathy, compassion, and authenticity in our interactions. This comprehensive 9-page Feelings and Needs Reference Guide is designed to support you in integrating these vital concepts into your daily life.

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I’ve been part of a fitness group here in California for the past 1.5 years. It’s called Boot Camp, and I have no idea why! Anyway, most people in the class are 25-30 years younger than I am and have been part of this group for several years. I don’t lift weights as heavy as theirs and I can’t always keep up with them, but I had felt confident that I was holding my own (except when jogging, which is the one place where I consistently lag far behind them). I found a way to be okay with this, to enjoy working out with them, without thinking I should be as strong or skilled as they are.

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Mary's Letter

2 Minutes

First, on the personal side… I’ve already planted half of my vegetable garden and it was so completely enjoyable. Remember how challenging this was for me a couple of years ago? My inner jackal did have a few things to say this year, but not nearly as many as in past years. And, I gave her loads of empathy so we made it through. I am thrilled about this. I can’t wait to see my seedlings pop up! If it’s a successful garden, I’ll share pictures in a future letter.

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From a Nonviolent Communication (NVC) perspective, expressing vulnerabilities by labeling someone as selfish can create disconnection and conflict. Instead of fostering understanding and support, this type of communication often leads to misunderstanding and defensive reactions. Yoram Mosenzon demonstrates how expressing feelings and needs clearly and without judgment facilitates empathy and mutual understanding. This allows for genuine connection and the possibility of finding mutually satisfying solutions.

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Yvette Erasmus shares practices to help us develop a regulated nervous system. We all get hijacked and triggered at some point. When that happens we can travel a blame and shame road or we can greet ourselves with graciousness and self compassion.

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As parents, aligning your values with your actual behavior can be challenging. In this video, Roxy discusses the importance of modeling behavior for children, both in how they handle challenges and in their overall approach to life. Her message encourages using real-life examples to show that everyone is a work in progress and that it's okay not to be perfect.

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Building relationships happens through dialogue and understanding the deeper meaning behind the words spoken. It’s about active listening that focuses on feelings and needs so you may truly comprehend the speaker’s message. In this video, Duke introduces two components of communication and how the restorative dialogue process supports mutual understanding.

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Join Mary Mackenzie, Certified NVC trainer, as she offers a simple approach incorporating NVC into everyday conversations. Her observation is that sometimes speaking NVC empath guesses of feelings and needs can feel un-natural or robotic. A possible solution is to slightly shift the way a person applies their NVC skills, focusing on the flow of conversation in a modern way. This technique has become known as Street Giraffe. Her short video is packed with useful ideas that are sure to become useful tools you can add to your repritoir.

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Hi friends, My name is Itzel and I’m happy for this opportunity to share a bit about myself and how I came to teach NVC. I was an activist before I knew what the word meant. When I was a child, I often argued with the adults around me about what I thought was “right.” If I had a nickel for every time a grown-up said to me, “You should be a lawyer,” I probably would’ve collected enough money to pay for the law school education that I eventually got. I left my traditional legal career path after more than a decade to become a...

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Roxy Manning shares that facilitating equitable group dynamics involves tracking attention, needs, purpose alignment, resources, and impact. Identifying patterns in attention distribution, centered needs, and maintaining alignment with the purpose enhances inclusivity. Tracking internal and external resources, especially considering identity-related differences, prevents disparities. Recognizing who bears the impact, providing support, and addressing impactful issues contribute to fostering an equitable facilitation environment.

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Marshall Rosenberg used to talk about every situation with the same level of joy a child might feel. This may seem impossible at first! But when you focus on all the ways something is hard, you miss out on the full experience and remove your sense of choice. In this video, Mary shares several benefits of positivity and lots of examples along the way.

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Greetings dear readers of the Growing Roots Newsletter! Mary Mackenzie invited me to be a guest writer for this issue to which I happily agreed. She also shared that her messages are typically more personal in nature, something I always appreciate in a newsletter. The challenge for me then is to...

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What is empowered speech and how does it link to interdependence? How do you speak in a way that increases the chances of being heard and creates space where individuals are more inclined to listen and act? In this excerpt from the 2021 course, Working Together for Change, Itzel and Kathy explore how to do this by integrating empowered speech, attuned speech, and a commitment to maintaining connections.

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Robert Gonzales shares how embracing impermanence involves continually growing in his ability to accept unmet needs, to be comfortable with discomfort and unwanted experiences. Robert shares a quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow about letting it rain, emphasizing the simplicity and wisdom in accepting life's experiences as they come.

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