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Oren Jay Sofer

Oren Jay Sofer teaches workshops and retreats on meditation and communication nationally. A member of the Spirit Rock Teachers Council, he holds a degree in Comparative Religion from Columbia University, is a Somatic Experiencing for healing of trauma, and a certified trainer of Nonviolent Communication. Oren is also the author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication.

Oren is also author of Say What You Mean: A Mindful Approach to Nonviolent Communication, the founder of Next Step Dharma, an online course focused on living the path of awakening in our daily lives, and co-founder of MindfulHealthcare.us providing training in mindfulness, communication, and resilience to the healthcare community. 

Website: Oren Jay Sofer

Latest NVC Library Resources with Oren Jay Sofer

How to Navigate Holiday Conversations with Family

While we can’t control other’s behavior, we can choose how we show up. With forethought and care, we can approach interactions with more clarity, love, and skill. Read on for practices that include: Choose wise attention, ask better questions, practice deep listening, structure the conversation, know your limits, speak your truth, share your personal stories, be present and recall permanence.

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Why I'm Grieving the Loss of Both Israelis and Palestinians

Read how an American Buddhist NVC teacher with Jewish roots reflects on how any dehumanization in the Israel-Hamas conflict can be used to justify all kinds of violence that can escalate for generations. With acknowledgment of the complexities, his desire is for us to bring in respect, dignity and peace -- for both Israelis and Palestinians. He emphasizes compassionate advocacy of all humanity amid the ongoing crisis.

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How To Stop Arguing

Transform arguments with these steps: take responsibility for your mind, increase your capacity for discomfort, slow down, show up and remember your values, offer understanding, take risks, and speak from your heart. Learning new skills takes time, energy and effort. However, it’s entirely possible to radically shift the way we communicate. The key is patience, persistence, and taking it one step at a time.

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How To Handle “Predatory Listening”

While someone is upset or hurt they may "listen" to us to gather evidence for a rebuttal, to assert or validate a preconceived idea, and so on. When in this "predatory listening" mode, the "listener's" needs overshadow relational values like understanding, connection, or mutuality. In response to this we can consider our purpose, affirm any positive intent or need in what they say, and ask direct, honest questions.

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Finding Your Way Through Hard Times

What have you lost this year during this COVID-19 pandemic? Are you grieving too? Recognition of loss can helped contextualize our emotions. When we can meet grief with understanding, patience and tenderness, when we create space to mourn our losses -- and to begin to process, heal and metabolize loss. This can help us make sense of change and orient to a new reality. Grief is a longing for what we love.

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