Oren Jay Sofer explains how we can stay grounded and maintain choice during overwhelming or emotionally charged conversations. He highlights the importance of presence—feeling our feet, noticing our breath, and expanding our awareness—to counter the fight-or-flight response and self-regulate. Oren also teaches a simple three-part structure for pausing a conversation without damaging the relationship: affirm the connection, state your limit, and offer a next step. By practicing and even memorizing a short version of this framework, we can exit challenging moments with clarity, care, and self-respect.

Oren Jay Sofer shares how to stay present and grounded during difficult conversations, especially when we feel judged or criticized. He describes how awareness of bodily sensations—such as tension, trembling, or the urge to react—can help us channel our energy in a constructive way. Oren highlights the shift from focusing on others’ judgments to identifying our own feelings and needs, which restores clarity and empowerment. By learning these skills, we can transform reactive moments into opportunities for understanding, connection, and self-awareness.

What do we do when someone speaks to us in a way that doesn’t feel respectful? In this video, Oren Jay Sofer explores how NVC invites us to listen for the feelings and needs behind harsh or judgmental words — not because we “should,” but because it gives us more choice and freedom in how we respond.

Oren J. Sofer offers an NVC approach to navigating tough moments—balancing honest self-expression with deep listening. Discover how centering yourself, naming your intentions, and hearing the other person first can create the understanding needed for true connection.

While we can’t control other’s behavior, we can choose how we show up. With forethought and care, we can approach interactions with more clarity, love, and skill. Read on for practices that include: Choose wise attention, ask better questions, practice deep listening, structure the conversation, know your limits, speak your truth, share your personal stories, be present and recall permanence.