When something happens that we don't like no amount of resentment nor magical thinking will make it disappear. Instead, we can mourn to dissolve our own resistance, resentment, and numbness of resignation. Mourning can allow us to feel pain with acceptance, and without needing to be okay with what happened. Acceptance can bring us to a place where even all the anguish in the world is fully, part of life.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 7 - 11 minutes
  • Date Added 04/2013
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee NGL
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Understanding Judgments

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer tip: Whenever we judge someone else in any way, we create a barrier and distance between us and the other person. Instead, consider shifting from judging other people to awareness of how their behavior affects your feelings and needs. This can make a profound difference in your ability to live peacefully. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

There's reactive anger - the sudden outbursts of words, temper or action that create a nervous system response in another. And then there's the anger that's a reaction to someone's anger -- a nervous system startle-response. Instead of either of these, we can learn to heal with empathy, look for unequal power dynamics, take responsibility to make repairs, and shift into the clean, life-serving, fully expressed anger and love.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 6 - 9 minutes
  • Date Added 10/2015
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Sarah Peyton
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

We can cultivate spiritual clarity through bringing attention to our intentions, mourning, gratitude, and the dynamic flow of feelings and needs. This can bring more autonomy, choice and liberate the energy of connection and contribution. We can also awaken our hearts to see the reality that our well-being is mutually interdependent. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Beginner Skill Level
  • Duration 2 - 3 minutes
  • Date Added 11/2019
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee NVC Academy
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Evaluations vs. Feelings

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

When bullying occurs, if we do our own healing, our brains can become more sharp and present and willing to take action to connect and to begin to shift and mitigate the harm that trauma does in our world. We can reduce trauma inflicted upon others when we recognize the patterns of abuse and bullying, hold zero tolerance for it, bring in support for both sides of the conflict, and take action to effect systemic change. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 6 - 9 minutes
  • Date Added 04/2013
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Sarah Peyton
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take decisive action. Read on for more.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Levels
  • Duration 8 - 12 minutes
  • Date Added 03/2012
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee NGL
  • Points 3
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

In the face of stress you can find ways to be present for what’s happening, rather than being pulled or pushed around by anxious thoughts or fearful feelings. Here are some strategies to return to and maintain expanded awareness.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level All Skill Levels
  • Duration 2-3 minutes
  • Date Added 04/2020
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee LaShelle Lowe-Charde
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

Trainer tip: People often presume why something happened before checking with the other person. Instead, if we were to name the facts of what happened through observation without adding in our own judgments or reasons why we think it happened, we can more easily open the possibility for deeper connection with the other person. Read on for more on making observations.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Introductory Skill Level
  • Duration 1 - 2 minutes
  • Date Added 10/2005
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Mary Mackenzie
  • Points 2
  • Multi Trainer Num 1

When we're received with resonant understanding painful moments can lessen their charge and became part of the whole tapestry of life -- important but no longer able to hijack us into the eternal re-run of pain. When held this way, we can touch the memories with our attention the way one touches a newly repaired tooth with the tongue, searching for the old roughness, the old wound, but not finding it.

Additional Info

  • Skill Level Intermediate Skill Level
  • Duration 3 - 5 minutes
  • Date Added 02/2012
  • Premium Members

    N/A

  • Payee Sarah Peyton
  • Points 1
  • Multi Trainer Num 1