Rachelle Lamb invites us to consider how our well being is impacted by what we choose to put at the center of our narrative regarding our needs. And how that affects whether or not we get closer to truly serving life and compassion...

Certified CNVC trainer Roxy Manning, Phd, answers a question: how do we use the term "harm" in NVC? Think of the word "harm" as an unmet need, practice observation to identify the need or needs that are not met.

When bullying occurs, if we do our own healing, our brains can become more sharp and present and willing to take action to connect and to begin to shift and mitigate the harm that trauma does in our world. We can reduce trauma inflicted upon others when we recognize the patterns of abuse and bullying, hold zero tolerance for it, bring in support for both sides of the conflict, and take action...

In order to bring in more nonviolence into the world, we need to take our own needs seriously and recognize that no amount of seeing someone’s innocence would mean putting up with more of their harmful behavior. We need to disentangle compassion towards another from the willingness to tolerate more harmful actions. At times this means finding enough self-love, support, or clarity, to take...

Many believe it's only a true NVC request when we can ask for what we need without urgency or insistence. But what if we're the target of oppression and hate in a world with systemic inequality? Is it still nonviolence to abdicate power by allowing the person enacting harm to be the one to decide whether harm continues? The intensity of the need, degree of harm, and how chronically unmet the...

How can we hold love, understanding and compassion -- and still confront people about the harmful impact of their actions, hold them accountable, take action, speak truth and advocate for change... all in a manner fully aligned with our values and vision? Read on for how we can do accountability; what kind of action we take and with what motivation; and what our movements for change can look...

We can use anger as an important signal to let us know that we perceive a threat to a universal need or value, directing our attention to something so that we can take effective action, and avoid harmful thought patterns. For example, instead of dwelling on a "should," focus on addressing unmet needs through boundaries and effective communication.

What's the real reason you choose to talk about something or not? "Privacy" can become a misplaced label that's used to hide harmful behaviour. Secrets typically come from reactivity -- and can carry shame, fear or threat of harm, and take a toll. And yet, if something private gets mislabeled as a "secret" it can also trigger shame and fear. The key to all this may be in relating to privacy...

Empathy alone can be unreliable in guiding compassionate action. As seen in historical events, military training, personal anecdotes, and scientific experiments, empathy alone may not prevent people from harming others. A sense of duty or obedience, often instilled through fear of punishment and shame, might inhibit empathic action. The antidote may be to fostering empathy without resorting to...

Trainer Tip: When we feel resentment toward others, we are harming our own emotional health. Surprisingly, when we own up to our part of an uncomfortable situation, we can release the pain and resentment. Such honesty can provide healing. Read on for a related anecdote of how this can play out.

With practice we can prevent reactivity from overtaking and harming: notice signs of reactivity, bring compassion to it, see reactivity as the misperception of threat and a distortion of what's happening, plus engage and pursue connection and the clarity to weaken reactive impulses. In taking responsibility like this overtime, you can live from your values and from care. And life can get easier...

When people get hurt or harmed, how can we restore trust, safety and connection in the community? A restorative approach which focuses on who got hurt and how can we restore it? Rather than whose fault is it and how can we punish them?

In pandemic many are asked to stay home. If we are experiencing violence at home we're also most at risk of harm or death if we leave. There are also less visible pieces at work. In this situation, acknowledging our pain, needs and experience can lighten the internal load to meet what is real, and claim our truth. We can do the same for our kids. This can open more pathways forward, and provide...

Worthlessness and shame are linked to the idea of not belonging or being unworthy of belonging -- that is, a deep sense of belonging to life, to your sense of self, and to our earth. Compensatory strategies to win worthiness and belonging arise from here and effectively block the very thing it is pursuing. Transformation occurs when there is a critical mass of clarity about the harm of a...

The purpose of setting boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. In this video, Yvette Erasmus describes how and why exquisite self-care requires exquisite boundaries.

Hearing actions that lead to living beings' harm, you may notice that some people believe that the needs of some must come at the cost of others. This view arises from fear and an economic system meant to promote and feed off false scarcity. When struggling with this, grieve, receive support, and notice your feelings show you certain values matter to you. From this sense of purpose you can find...

Who are you not use to caring about? Is it those you classify as "other"? Those you disagree with? The lower class? People in power? Those who inflict harm? Yourself? To include everyone's needs fully, not instead of your needs, can transform the either/or paradigm. It can also help us to go beyond so-called "codependency". And it can support us all to live more sustainably on this planet.

Are we really safer when we put those who harm others behind bars and forget about them? Explore turning our prisons into houses of healing and creating connections that lead to greater safety for our communities.

The purpose of boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. You decide what you are available for and what you are not. Boundaries are a clear expression of limits that keep your heart open no matter what.

In this 6-session course Sarah Peyton will take you through the 5 levels of unconscious contracts that can create patterns of self-sabotage and self-defeat. Each session introduces a different unconscious contract based on various aspects of relational neuroscience and provides support for the release of these contracts. Sarah Peyton shows you how, with deep empathy, self-accompaniment, and an...