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  1. Separating Observations And Evaluations

    Separating Observations And Evaluations

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 01/27/2023

    Trainer Tip: Oftentimes, when we mix an evaluation and observation, we promote defensiveness in other people. When we are able to separate the two, we are more likely to create opportunities to promote open dialogue about our concerns. Be aware of your evaluations and observations today.

  2. Evaluations vs. Feelings

    Evaluations vs. Feelings

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/11/2020

    Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

  3. Beyond "Evaluation"

    Beyond "Evaluation"

    Bob Wentworth

    Articles · 10 - 15 minutes · 09/20/2023

    The question “Is X an evaluation?” (where “X" represents whatever word is under discussion) has taken up some controversy in the NVC network. Often, context changes the meaning and assessment of words (eg. use of the term "domination" as in "You’re trying to dominate me!” vs. “domination societies”). Read on for several questions that can support understanding whether a term is evaluative, and reflect on the results it produces.

  4. Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2021

    Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

  5. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.
  6. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.

  7. Recalling Krishnamurti, Marshall referred to the capability of distinguishing observation vs observation mixed with evaluation as "the highest form of human intelligence." Read on for an exercise to help practice the skill of observation in combination with mindful walking.

  8. NVC Conversations About Privilege and Power-Over

    NVC Conversations About Privilege and Power-Over

    Dian Killian

    Articles · 9 - 14 minutes · 1/31/2019

    Some people in the NVC community consider the words "privilege" and "power" triggering and/or evaluative. From this perspective, how can the concepts of "privilege" and "power" be considered part of the NVC teaching?  This writing piece examines the power and privilege debate.  It also discusses what the author sees as Marshall Rosenberg and Gandhi's stance on the subject...

  9. Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly states how your life was enriched, without judgement.

  10. Observing without Judgment

    Observing without Judgment

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/19/2019

    Trainer Tip: Today, identify the facts, without adding your ideas about why people behave in certain ways. Then consider connecting with the person about what was going on with them. You will find that the more you observe life without judgment and evaluation, the more open you will be to hearing and connecting with other people.

  11. Saying Thank You without Judgment

    Saying Thank You without Judgment

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/24/2021

    Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what feelings it stimulated.

  12. Nothing but the Facts

    Nothing but the Facts

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/10/2020

    Trainer Tip: There's often a large gap between what we experience, and the story we make up about it. Noticing how our judgments and assumptions cloud our observations can be critical to creating a connection with others and maintaining a Nonviolent Communication consciousness.

  13. Faux Feelings (Judgements) Handouts and Cards

    Faux Feelings (Judgements) Handouts and Cards

    Katrina Vaillancourt

    Learning Tools · 5 - 7 minutes · 12/1/2024

    We typically think of certain words as feelings when they can be judgements (eg. “abandoned”). Hidden within evaluative/judgement words are true feelings and needs (eg. if we think we’re abandoned we may feel lonely or hurt, and want togetherness or belonging). With this handout discover more hidden feelings and needs within the judgements that sound like feelings. Then download the card deck to further practice and learn.
  14. Moralistic Judgments

    Moralistic Judgments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/10/2020

    Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

  15. Exercise On Self Responsibility

    Exercise On Self Responsibility

    Robert Gonzales

    Practice Exercises · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/18/2022

    Self responsibility is owning what's yours. It involves identifying your observations, evaluations, feelings, longings, and more. When we identify what's truly ours we are unlikely to mistake it as coming from outside of us. Self responsibility is not self blame. Without self responsibility, we project, blame and judge. Self-responsibility is central to clarity and full self-awareness. This exercise will guide you there.

  16. Workplace relationships are complex. Each employee brings their unique self to work. Their background, perspective, emotional triggers, and working style. Add to this the dynamics of power relations, and the fact that often workplace communication now takes place at our computer keyboards rather than face-to-face. Sylvia Haskvitz offers practical tips to make today's complex workplace relationships more satisfying and effective.

  17. Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

    Laughter, IPNB and Empathy

    Sarah Peyton

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 3/9/2019

    Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others.  This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...

  18. Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

    Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/21/2019

    Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.

  19. Losing Our Judgments

    Losing Our Judgments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/14/2020

    Trainer tip: Various life circumstances that can seem to be something that we don't want, and we may think of them as bad. And then later the situation may reveal that it's a circumstance that we do want, and we may think of it as good. Instead, of evaluating our day as good or bad we can acknowledge the feelings and needs that are present. Read on for a few anecdotes that illustrate this.

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