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When we have privilege, we can have access to resources resulting from legal or social norms related to membership in a group -- independent of any (in)action, awareness of the disparity, the potential benefits to us, or the costs to others. Unhelpful ways of engaging with privilege are: denial/invisibility, guilt/shame, defensiveness, and entitlement. Helpful ways of engaging are: owning privilege, learning about privilege, opening to feedback, and stewarding privilege for benefit of all. To be helpful we need to engage with necessary (rather than unnecessary) discomfort.

Many of us blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe.

Some things may seem to take longer at first, but end up making things easier and faster. Other things seem easier or faster in the short term, but end up taking more time in the long run. This applies to projects, group agreements about process, relationships, addressing conflicts, clearing up misunderstandings, damage control, etc. It can be faster to slow down, be more present, and take the time since we care about the outcome.

CNVC Certified Trainer Lore Baur asks: "Have you ever seen something happen that made you feel uncomfortable and you didn't know what to do?" That's the "bystander effect:" a well-researched and commonly experienced phenomenon. Training can help you overcome it, enabling you to discern what to do and how to support others in ways that reduce trauma and increase safety.

Here are 10 tips for empathy buddy practice. It includes a handout identifying 15 non-empathy responses to step aside from when you practice.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes the people in our lives don’t yet have the skills to speak directly about what they want. When this happens we can make guesses about how they feel and what they want. This can lead to greater connection and chances we all can be more satisfied with our interactions.

This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”

Trainer Tip: Whether we listen to our own or the other person’s needs first, connecting to needs can help us release judgments of others, see their humanness, help us to begin to hear them and ultimately connect to them. Be aware today of times when you are judging someone. Then be aware of your own needs to improve your connection to them.

Among NVC practitioners, empathy can be superficial. How open are you to being influenced by what others are saying? Do you reflect back and then guard and remain within your position of being right, even as you say otherwise? Only when we're eager to be influenced by what they say can we connect, expand our world and thus, shift the field. Without such openness we fool ourselves into thinking we are truly empathic listeners.

CNVC Certified Trainers Jim and Jori Manske show you how to tune into the "Gratitude Channel," sharing exercises and practices to hone your awareness toward gratitude.