Browse the NVC Library

John Cunningham provides support to deepen your understanding and practice of NVC, including a sketch of the participatory and onlooker modes of consciousness, lists of feelings, needs and sample dialogues.

When there's quality connection then collaboration and creativity generosity of heart can come. Then strategies honoring everyone’s needs are easier. This requires us to trust connection, hear needs, brainstorm, experiment, prepare, and hold confidence that everyone’s needs can be met. Needs-based negotiation starts there. What derails this? Feeling urgency, listening from our (dis)likes or opinions, and dire predictions.

Are you finding yourself grappling with the NVC model despite your familiarity or practice? Do you often feel stuck or find it challenging to make it feel natural or authentic in your interactions?

Let CNVC Certified Trainer, Dian Killian, guide you towards embodying the essence of NVC—a mindset of connection and collaborative engagement. Through her expertise, you'll discover invaluable insights tailored to make your NVC practice truly your own. From uncovering intuitive methods to discern feelings and needs, to seamlessly integrating NVC principles into your everyday speech, Dian empowers you with insider tips for authentic connection.

Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."

What is a good baby? If you have been raised in a Western culture, chances are you know the answer right away (whether or not you agree with it). A good baby is one that doesn't cry! The training against vulnerability starts very early in life.

Mismanaged emotional pain can compound and hurt ourselves and others. Four ways we can mismanage pain are: denial, blame, depression, and escape/numbing. This can result in hatred, resentment, discrimination, revenge, anger, and more problems. The fifth way we can deal with pain is to confront the pain acknowledging it and dealing with our unmet needs. This is a more direct path. Read on for more ideas for how to handle the pain.

Trainer Tip: Mary shares an experience about accepting responsibility for her actions and how that lead her to greater choice and freedom.

Healthy differentiation is key to personal growth, learning and thriving relationships. When healthy differentiation is present, you can discern what's true for you and what you are and aren't responsible for in an interaction, and can be fully who you are in the presence of others. There are a number of ways you can become aware of and cultivate healthy differentiation. Let’s look at two here: self-connection and autonomy.

Here's an inspiring story of one citizen (the author) who faced a police officer and judge in court to contest a transit ticket... and inspired structural changes in the way one aspect of New York City transit operates. She inspires change with her application of empathy for self and others, acknowledgement, connecting requests -- and an inspiring vision of understanding, shared reality and living in a city where people have some trust in one another's intentions.

Trainer Tip: It is true that we cannot fully understand other people until we understand ourselves. Gain understanding and healing through self-empathy within the Compassionate Communication process.