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Trainer Tip: Autonomy is not a need, but rather a way of living. We always have choices in life, even if none of them appeal to us. Becoming aware of our choices and taking responsibility for them leads to greater joy and empowerment.
Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes
11/29/2015
Jim and Jori Manske share strategies for employing gratitude to create more joy in life, jettisoning the fear of asking for what you want, and welcoming feedback no matter how it is delivered.
Expressing ourselves honestly is sometimes scary because we can't predict where the conversation will go after we've made ourselves vulnerable. This recording will demonstrate how the power of our honesty is enhanced by ending on a clear and present request.
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/2016
For many, the word “need” is associated with lack, neediness, and scarcity. These associations are the opposite of the meaning of needs in Nonviolent Communication (NVC). In NVC, needs are the motivational energy of our innate wholeness and desire to grow, like the energy of a plant pushing it up through the soil and toward the sun.
When we are transparent about our concerns, brainstorm solutions together, and look towards making a decision with the other person, we can increase understanding, partnership, and mutual support. This invites people to work on the same issue from the same direction, collaboratively seek solutions, and tap a deeper wisdom. In the end, the future survival of our species depends on this kind of active interdependence.
It may be challenging to hear or make requests when you feel shame regarding anyone's feelings and needs. Without support, shame could be debilitating, so you may feel resistant and become defensive, hear threat, or criticize others. Instead, be with people who allow space for vulnerability. Find ways to celebrate, negotiate, be mindful, accepting, and creative.
Learn to recognize four forms of thinking and speaking that are likely to lead to disconnection.
Ask the Trainer: "I just started teaching in a public school and I'm not enjoying the violence that teachers express towards children and their colleagues. However, when I talk about NVC, most people listen but I feel they're either not understanding it or ..."
Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes
6/17/2023
When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the question with a trusted person or in a journal. Read on for examples.