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Using the example of being met with chronic lateness, here are three steps to setting boundaries early in a dating situation or relationship.

How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.

Our pattern-making minds make predictions about how best to survive in the world. So deep wounds from our past can influence our minds to make life long generalizations that harden into core beliefs about groups of people. Read on for a demonstration of how empathy can shift these wounds and thus the core beliefs.

Trainer Tip: The change you're looking for begins with a single step.

Listen to three interwoven tales of love, vulnerability, courage and healing by CNVC Certified Trainer and Storyteller Leo Sofer.

If we’re selfish, all we care about is our own needs. If we’re selfless, our needs don’t enter the picture; others needs are the focus. But what if serving others meets our needs? What if being only selfish ultimately results in our needs being unmet? Do you find yourself bouncing between being a selfless doormat and then resenting it, and beating yourself up for being “selfish”? Instead, care about others’ needs AND your needs.

When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.

Join CNVC Certified Trainers Jeff Brown, Jean Morrison, Karl Steyaert, Kathleen Macferran, Mary Mackenzie and Sylvia Haskvitz in a lively Q&A session focusing on naturalizing NVC into our daily interactions.

Trainer Tip: When someone acts in baffling ways we can either wonder about what’s going on with the other person, create our own stories about it (blame, resent, make assumptions), or inform ourselves by asking. This is an opportunity to learn something new.