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  • 48

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We can shift from being absorbed and identified with our inner chatter and feelings to being the space of awareness of these things. Observe your breath. Then observe your mind generating thoughts. Next, feel sensations of your body, particularly the difficult ones. Now, connect with the underlying energy of needs. Ask your unconscious mind for universal needs words related to what you now notice, think and feel.

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When it comes to how you're achieving your goals, notice what you value. Is achievement coming at others' expense? Where is your sense of worth and validation derived from? Do other people in some way set the bar that you strive to surpass? Without comparing to other people, what does success mean to you? Read on for a related story.

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

06/16/2005

Trainer Tip: Anger is a prominent call to gain our attention. Mary explains why it's worth heeding that call.

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  • Ask the Trainer: “I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling.”
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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

10/2005

Trainer Tip: What are your goals, hopes and dreams? For greater success it’s important to make your goals concrete, specific, and focused on what do you want (rather than what you don't want).

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Yoram Mosenzon

Video

4 minutes

12/13/2023

How do you solve a conflict? By not trying to solve it! Yoram suggests building your conflict resolution muscles by practicing connecting to the needs behind the conflict instead. Check out this excerpt from Session 1 of his 2021 course, Connecting in Conflict and the Art of Navigating Dialogue. Listen.
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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

10/2005

Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.

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Miki Kashtan

Audio

8 minutes

06/07/2011

In this brief audio segment, Miki works with a woman whose teenage daughter rejects her use of NVC, guiding her in a process of self-awareness and acceptance.

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How can we live life fully connected to the core values of nonviolence, no matter the circumstances, internal or external? Join Miki Kashtan as she shares the 17 core commitments that have served as a compass for herself and hundreds of others around the world as well.

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LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Practice Exercise

3-5 minutes

03/02/2022

If withdrawal is your stress pattern, you likely want to belong and yet have habits of expression that others find uninviting. Instead, soften, relax, and open your posture and energy. Find something that will bring you to smile. Engage with others -- make eye contact, smile, walk towards others, say hello, and sit in an open posture. Let others know that you're a bit overwhelmed, but want to connect and are glad to be here.

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