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How do we live each and every day from the “living energy of needs” – with the unimpeded fullness of life’s energies flowing through us, regardless of the conflicts or life circumstances we may be experiencing? Through developing deep self-compassion. How can we experience our inner world from a place of utter and total compassion? When we practice compassionate self-care, we create an inner spaciousness that allows our life’s energies to flow. In that spaciousness both healing and inner transformation occurs. Robert’s work explores the interweaving of two co-intentions—to live life from the fullness of the “beauty of needs” and to approach every experience with deep compassion.

Trainer Tip: On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your emotional bank account? If it’s lower than you like, consider what you can do right now to bring it closer to balance. Everyone in your life, and most especially you, will benefit from this. Even 15 mins of empathy may nourish you with accompaniment and perspective, even when the issues or circumstances in your life are the same.

Trainer Tip: Mary shares how staying present to our anger and finding the underlying feelings and needs can lead to deeper connection and more satisfying outcomes.

Trainer Tip: Asking for support may feel awkward and uncomfortable. In these moments, we may forget that everyone needs support. We may also forget that there may be many options available to us, even if what's available isn't our preferred source of support.

Awareness of how we're holding our own and others' needs is important to our development. In learning to value needs, we often go through three stages: passive, aggressive/obnoxious, and assertive/mutual. As we learn and grow, we may relate to the following differently: Whose feelings and needs are important, who is responsible for what, how our choices impact others, and consideration for ourselves and others.

Do you ever think you have the perfect answer for someone who is struggling? Eric offers a tip on how to approach situations like this.

Using real-life examples from class participants, Sylvia Haskvitz demonstrates the life-changing results of clarifying the needs underlying "shoulds." Some of the situations covered in this audio are:

• A grandmother shares how she was able to spend time with her grandchildren even when experiencing estrangement from her daughter
• A father examines how to repair a conversation with his daughter
• A woman explores her "should" thinking about her financial stability, her job and grief regarding her husband's death
• A woman connects to her deeper needs that arise with the statement "I should do my taxes"
• A woman perceives that she has conflicting needs for family harmony, relaxation and comfort when deciding whether to spend holiday time with stepchildren

If your life is fraught with "shoulds," this resource will support you in translating them into needs and, in some cases, to let them go entirely.

Here's guidance on how to approach your inner experience when triggered or stuck in a distressing life experience. Self-Compassion in life can be experienced as: "There is room for life experience in me. There is an open space for ‘what is’ to be fully present in my inner experience". This exercise is more about tracing your felt experience than verbalizing it.

Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she examines the nature of guilt and how apologizing often fails to connect us to our needs.

When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.