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How do you know when you’re projecting disowned parts or replaying old relationship dynamics? It’s hard to know for sure, but if you find yourself upset or shutting down and unable to have a dialogue in which you can speak clearly about your feelings and needs and empathize with the other’s feelings and needs, there is likely a projection. The stronger your reaction, the more likely you are projecting.

Roxy Manning shares some strategies to support a child's natural curiosity when asking questions about physical differences using NVC skills.

In this brief audio segment, Miki works with a woman whose teenage daughter rejects her use of NVC, guiding her in a process of self-awareness and acceptance.

It seems to me that people see ideas which are different from theirs as threatening. Instead of listening, the group polarizes around the different ideas and a lot of judgments develop, conflicts develop and people feel hurt. Forward progress becomes a battle ground. How can I support more collaboration?

Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a freedom I had never known before.

This one page colour handout illustrates the focus options or intention options for connection: empathy (verbal and non-verbal), self expression, and self connection (opening our heart to self and/or others). It also offers some suggestions for how to say these things to self and others.

Gratitude keeps us connected to what is working, rather than dwelling on what is not working. As a celebration – gratitude keeps us connected to the natural joy of giving. Receiving gratitude also serves the function of feedback, and lets us know that we are effectively contributing.

Trainer Tip: Stating our observations, feelings and needs can still be heard as criticism if we don't follow it up right away with a specific, doable request. Ending your statement with a request for what you want can clarify the situation and reduce the chances that you'll be met with defensiveness. Read on for an example.