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Use this worksheet to check to see if you’re making a request, rather than a demand. Clarify and connect your request to your needs. Check your motivations. Use a phrase, question, or empathy guess to connect to the person if they say “no”. See sample requests for actions, offers, and for deepening understanding.
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It's normal for us to keep something inside, avoiding sharing it with someone else as the risk may feel too high. Maybe they will reject me, or be offended and not speak to me again? It can be difficult to know when to share your truth and when to keep it inside. In this episode we layout some useful strategies that will help you speak your truth, while still keeping the connection.

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Join Susan Skye in this hour-long audio recording to learn how to experience the NVC consciousness as an embodied, living practice of the 'Living Energy of Needs."  This recording includes a supportive learning exercise and tips for expressing needs in a non-mechanical way.

"Over the years, I have noticed that people -- including trainers and facilitators --     use the words of the NVC process without full connection to life energy, often resulting in a failure to get to a full connection with actual life energy of these qualities that we have named "needs." This results in a mechanical communication model, rather than a true empathic connection. Join me in learning how to share NVC as an embodied, living practice of the 'Living Energy of Needs."
—Susan Skye

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Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

2008

Ask the Trainer: "Could you share a list of types of requests, with examples of each and a possible strategy for formulating requests in conversation?"

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Practice Exercise

1- 3 minutes

1/29/2022

With this exercise you'll choose an experience you had with someone where your needs were not met. You'll work with the related feelings, judgements, values, and feeling the fullness of the need even though it was not met, plus any sadness that may arise.

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Past hurt and pain can get triggered even when it doesn't have much to do with the present. When that happens we can gain perspective by self reflecting, engaging self empathy, grounding an "anchor", noticing the present-moment safety, naming needs and making requests.

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Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities today to choose empathizing over arguing with someone who is angry, and notice how it affects your ability to resolve the situation. Read on for more.

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When we have privilege, we can have access to resources resulting from legal or social norms related to membership in a group -- independent of any (in)action, awareness of the disparity, the potential benefits to us, or the costs to others. Unhelpful ways of engaging with privilege are: denial/invisibility, guilt/shame, defensiveness, and entitlement. Helpful ways of engaging are: owning privilege, learning about privilege, opening to feedback, and stewarding privilege for benefit of all. To be helpful we need to engage with necessary (rather than unnecessary) discomfort.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

1/2020

Here's a five-step 30 day practice to cultivate gratitude, using the practice of observations, needs, feelings, presence, vitality, awareness of contribution, sharing power and interdependence.

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Trainer tip: When you tell yourself that you have to do something, you're more likely to disconnect yourself from the needs you’re trying to meet, and also diminish the joy in your life. Instead, experiment with translating your “shoulds” and “have tos” into the need you are trying to meet.

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