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Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

Ask the Trainer: "Could you share a list of types of requests, with examples of each and a possible strategy for formulating requests in conversation?"

Listen as Liv shares her experience of mediating conflict between two groups: using NVC to ascertain the needs of both sides, raise awareness, and diminish polarization.

Often, honoring someone’s choice supports more connection. Thus, checking in with someone’s choice to listen or not (offering autonomy) sets the stage for being heard more fully. On the other hand, when someone has the perception that you are talking to them without considering their choice, resentful listening might result. Here are ways to mindfully check in about choiceful listening before starting a conversation.

Ask the Trainer: An NVC Academy member from Bosnia asks: "Is the NVC process truly effective in places where so much violence has occurred and people's pain is very deep?"

CNVC Certified Trainer Miki Kashtan discusses how focusing on connection and care can guide us in expressing honestly and offering empathy.

Trainer Tip: Thinking someone is bad, wrong, or evil can make it more difficult to connect with them. If we focus on this kind of thinking, we stay in the problem or conflict. The minute we step out of judgement and listen for the needs underlying their actions, we begin working for the solution. Put your focus in the direction of the result you want. Read on for an example.

Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This is more likely to eventually produce sustainable change that'll serve us better.

We all blow it sometimes. Maybe we are triggered and react in ways we regret. Or we unknowingly say or do something that unexpectedly touches a nerve for someone else. Either way, how do we heal the disconnection?

In this session, you'll learn how to integrate skills for repairing relationships.

Sometimes there are moments when empathy has no effect at all on one another.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains maybe less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our nervous system and relationship to others...