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We live in a world where there is a lot of anger. It can be a strong and intense emotion that we feel or receive from others sometimes on a daily basis. Whether that's an agitated partner, road rage, or a disgruntled colleague. While we're familiar with this feeling, we're not necessarily well equipped with how to express it in a healthy way. In this month's Life Hack, Shantigarbha takes us through a guided reflection on anger.

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CNVC Certified Trainer Anne Walton leads us through a guided visualization to help us make a shift in ideas we hold about ourselves. (Edited and Updated 10/6/2019)

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Trainer Tip: Violence results from thinking that others caused our pain and deserve to be punished. The cause of our feelings is related to our own needs in the moment. What happened is the stimulus. Notice this when you are tempted to blame other people for your feelings, and try to discover your unmet needs.

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

08/31/2005

Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed that some of your behaviors ensure that your needs for peace and relief won’t be met? Take judgments for instance. The more we have, the less peaceful and happy we feel.

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

10/2005

Trainer Tip: When considering your "deal breakers" consider what you want from a relationship rather than how it will look. For instance, maybe my need for abundance can be met by someone who is independently wealthy, so he doesn’t have to “have a good job”. When you shift your focus from strategies to needs, you may be pleasantly surprised what the universe brings. Read on for more.

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Mukti Jarvis

Video

18 minutes

12/16/2013

What is essential to make a relationship thrive? Listen to CNVC Certified Trainer Linda Mia Mukte (formerly Rysenbry) share seven types of conversations vital to healthy, flourishing intimate relationships.

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

11/23/2022

Trainer Tip: If you are motivated by fear, guilt, blame or shame, your actions will usually be motivated by avoiding pain. The best way to experience permanent, lifelong change is to focus on how your life will improve when you make a change. Notice when you attempt to motivate yourself and others with guilt, blame, or shame today, and then look for motivations that enrich life instead.

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

05/28/2022

Trainer Tip: Strive for win-win resolutions where no one loses. Try this rather than deciding things by the majority or compromise, where one or more parties feel dissatisfied with the resolution because it involves an element of giving in. An alternative is shifting; both people connect to the needs they are trying to meet, and in doing so, one person makes an honest shift to contribute to the other person’s needs and life.

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Jim & Jori Manske

Video

59 minutes

4/9/22

Jim and Jori share their work integrating Martin Seligman's work on Positive Psychology with Nonviolent Communication in a system they call REMAP, focusing on relationships, engagement, meaning, accomplishment and positivity.

 

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In this role play, Jean Morrison plays a mother who is asking her son to vacuum the house and he is objecting. She enacts the role first using "jackal" language and then again using Nonviolent Communication.

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