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Article

5 - 8 minutes

11/2020

Many believe it's only a true NVC request when we can ask for what we need without urgency or insistence. But what if we're the target of oppression and hate in a world with systemic inequality? Is it still nonviolence to abdicate power by allowing the person enacting harm to be the one to decide whether harm continues? The intensity of the need, degree of harm, and how chronically unmet the need is, are factors to guide us for when to apply force and demand within NVC. We can be attached to outcome, without being attached to strategy.

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NVC groups can sometimes get caught in a rut and lose energy and momentum. Mary shares her extensive experience with seven steps for keeping your group engaged and energized.

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Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.

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Join Mary Mackenzie, Certified NVC trainer, as she offers ways to incorporate NVC empathy guesses, feelings and needs into everyday conversations. This approach is geared towards adding deeper connection to the natural flow of conversations. The technique has become known as Street Giraffe.
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When faced with someone’s grief for the world, how do you engage with them in a way that is informed? In this session, Kristin suggests exploring what they might be grieving… what they’re afraid of losing… and what it is that they love.

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As human beings, our inherent goodness makes most of us believe in equality and yet sometimes our conviction in this same 'goodness' may make us blind to the reality of our own behavior. We are so convinced about the innocence of our intention that we seize to look at the impact of our behavior and thus our unconscious biases often go unexamined and unchallenged. Diversity, equity and inclusion work will only be of lip-service until we are willing to look at our own unconscious biases. Listen as Anisha Pandya encourages you to look at the possibility of how our self-awareness is so limited and one of the ways of expanding that awareness is by moving beyond our intention, looking at the impact of our behavior and remaining open to feedback.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

02/02/2005

Trainer Tip: Every single time you say or do something, even when you experience pain or regret, you are trying to meet a need. Forgiveness begins when we acknowledge the needs we were trying to meet in the situation.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

04/11/2022

Trainer Tip: A request completes the communication by stating specifically what we would like from someone else to meet our need. Without this clarity, our communication can be confusing and can easily be seen as a demand. When people know what you want, you have a better chance of meeting your needs. Make clear, specific, doable requests of people, and see if this increases the chance of meeting your needs. Read on for an example.

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Giving feedback across a differences in culture, race, and power isn't something that we have to do -- but we can choose to do it for our own liberation, if we want. And if we choose that path, impact delivered well can invite caring for all needs and increase capacity to learn. This is the exacting, rigorous work of speaking about impact without attributing anything to the person whose actions resulted in the impact. Read on for part 1 of 2.

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Does your inner dialog sound supportive and encouraging - or more like you’re being yelled at by a critical task-master?  Gain an understanding of the neuroscience of the left and right hemispheres of the human brain and locate just where this savage inner voice is coming from and how to respond to it with empathy.

 

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