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How can we create a partnership and eye-level dialog with people who we perceive to have more power? In this session, we will create a practice of humanizing ourselves and others through empathy, practicing scary honesty, and making requests that serve both persons’ needs

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Trainer Tip: Q: How do we get the love we want? A: Ask for it.

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Listen to three interwoven tales of love, vulnerability, courage and healing by CNVC Certified Trainer and Storyteller Leo Sofer.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

10/2005

Trainer tip: Judging others can affect our ability to communicate effectively with that person, or enjoy the relationship. Translating the static judgments (enemy images) we have of others into our own and others' feelings and needs can help us move into greater understanding, healing, and relief -- which can foster compassion and connection. Read on for more.

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Whether its pandemics, climate change, damage to the environment or other massive challenges that humanity faces, what are we to do if we can't agree on even the most basic information and knowledge? From empathic understanding we can focus on shared, universal human needs (where there is no conflict or disagreement) underlying our perceptions, and feelings. Then we can see if there are ways we can agree on to meet those needs.
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The less blame and criticism, the easier it is for others to hear us. From this perspective, it’s in our best interest to come from curiosity and care. This way differences can bring us together and help us know one another. The more mutual understanding, the easier it is to work together and find creative solutions. Read on for more on this, with a story about how a black man inspired 200 members of the KKK to leave the organization.

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Amidst the Israel/Palestine war we see polarizing media portrayals and the battle for public opinion. Read how one person shares his deep, personal connections to the Israel/Palestine conflict, expresses the trauma and viewpoints of both Palestinian and Israeli experiences -- in a way that aims to transcend polarizations, hold compassion, and understand the complexity on both sides. Despite the immense challenge that defies easy resolution, he holds hope, noting historical reconciliations such as the ones between Germans and Jews.
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Eric Bowers explains how needs and strategies correlate to different brain hemispheres, and how relaxing into our needs opens us to greater possibilities.

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Some arguments stay stuck because each person thinks it's about the content of the argument, rather than the needs each person is attempting to protect. When the needs get attached to the strategies a "no way out" scenario gets created. Instead, fully step into one another's worlds and connect to the feelings and needs behind the strategy each party is putting forth. Read on for six elements to creating empathic connection.

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Practice Exercise

2 - 3 minutes

05/05/2022

Anger matters because it can let you know that you perceive a threat to universal need for yourself or someone else. It can draw your attention to something so that you can take effective action. Anger becomes a hindrance when you amp it up with your thoughts about what should(n't) happen. Instead, notice any "should" thoughts, see anger as a signal, accept that it's okay to have it, and look for feelings and needs underneath it.

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