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Does NVC seem like a good idea, but not practical? Do you feel frustrated when you find yourself in the same jackal scenario repeatedly? Let beloved trainer Kathleen Macferran guide you toward integrating NVC into all aspects of your life.

Start here to discover how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) will enrich and deepen all your relationships. You'll love this practical and enlightening approach to empathic listening and effective self-expression. Learn on your schedule with self-paced learning modules in this 30-day program. Our 30-day NVC introductory course is conveniently available within the Library to all NVC Library subscribers.

When you don't have a sense of being heard you can apply skills to help you can interrupt cycles of reactivity and resentment, and create connection. Let's look at six ways that will support you in being heard. These are clarity about the topic and needs; supportive conditions; respect for autonomy; sharing your intention; attending to emotional security; and making clear requests.

One clue we have trauma is when we respond in a way we don't want (eg. being reactive, self sabotaging, etc). Even when we have high level NVC skills our trauma-related mechanisms can activate, and we can lose access to well honed NVC skills. Read on for approaches that involve healing trauma, and approaches that involve managing the effects of trauma and preventing additional trauma.

Ask the Trainer: "Recently, I was sitting in my weekly practice group trying to connect to my reasons for wanting to give empathy to a particular person. She was telling us about some painful feeling she was having, but was not connecting to her needs."

One way of simplifying decision-making in relationships is clarity about the level of contact and connection you want with the people you interact with. This means knowing what you want and don’t want to share, the kinds of activities you do and don’t do together, how often, etc. This can help you chose how to best support your needs in that context, and help you to remember to set life-serving boundaries when you need them.

Wes Taylor, former CNVC Certified Trainer, uses Ken Wilber’s work to explain the developmental evolution of consciousness,. He then connects Wilber’s stage development concepts to the development of Nonviolent Communication.

• Ask the Trainer: “I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling.”

Setting boundaries takes being firmly grounded in self-respect and clear about what works for you. This means making conscious choices about how you relate to another or behave in a situation. Such clarity allows you to put your attention and energy where you want it to go. Thus we can have care and compassion without taking responsibility for others, nor feeling guilty when we say “no”. This takes awareness, skills, practice, healing and compassion.

How can I deal with someone who is constantly interrupting and derailing our process?