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Trainer Tip: Thinking someone is bad, wrong, or evil can make it more difficult to connect with them. If we focus on this kind of thinking, we stay in the problem or conflict. The minute we step out of judgement and listen for the needs underlying their actions, we begin working for the solution. Put your focus in the direction of the result you want. Read on for an example.

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When you say yes, check if you are saying it out of submission. Similarly, when you say no, are you saying it genuinely or out of rebellion? Marshall Rosenberg calls this a loss or erosion of goodwill which can destroy or undermine relationships. In this video, Rachelle Lamb shares how submission and rebellion in communication can diminish your power.
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Ask the Trainer: "I just started teaching in a public school and I'm not enjoying the violence that teachers express towards children and their colleagues. However, when I talk about NVC, most people listen but I feel they're either not understanding it or ..."

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Ronnie Hausheer, an NVC facilitator who volunteers her time for OccupyVoice.info joins NVC Academy co-founder Mark Schultz in a discussion of her work sharing empathy, NVC training and mediation with members of the Occupy Movement.

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Trainer Tip: It is true that we cannot fully understand other people until we understand ourselves. Gain understanding and healing through self-empathy within the Compassionate Communication process.

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Could our "need for autonomy" be getting in the way of "partnership consciousness" (as NVC is sometimes called). Could "autonomy" also block healthy relationships with not only ourselves and with others, but also with the planet? This article invites us to consider how "autonomy" may colour our NVC practice at the peril of our critical values. Values such as our care for impact, shared responsibility, interdependence, compassion, consideration, and more...

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Practice Exercise

2 pages

Circa 2009

This exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. Penny Wassman experiences it as an opportunity for people to build connection with one another.

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Yoram Mosenzon shares that the role of a mediator is often misconceived as solving conflicts, which can create stress and exacerbate the conflict. Instead, the true essence of mediation is about remaining untriggered, understanding the pain of the conflicting parties, and facilitating communication.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Circa 2007

Trainer Tip: Never Compromise, because that is where you share the resentment 50/50.

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In this telecourse recording, you'll learn to differentiate between cerebral empathy and intuitive empathic listening. Awaken your sensitivity towards body sensations and inner feelings to recognize the clear inner clues to your empathic connection.

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