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Subtle boundary violations are more difficult to catch and name in the moment, than obvious boundary violations. Becoming more aware of these moments and finding the words to set a boundary are critical to supporting healthy relating long-term. Three categories of subtle boundary violations are (1.) lack of mutuality, (2.) voice tone and volume, and (3.) speaking for or about someone. Read on to learn more about all three.

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

10/2005

Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

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LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article

5-9 minutes

04/2020

Physical distancing is opportunity to creatively to meet your needs in new ways. In this containment, with very few cues from others and the environment you now have a rare opportunity with less external distraction to rethink what's truly supportive -- and make significant changes to the less noticable habits of mind, standards and "should's". Applying questions and noticing certain symptoms can support. Read on for more.

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Join Susan Skye as she guides you to experience profound transformation of the inner jackal messages resulting from childhood trauma. Discover how the limbic system of the brain works, and transform jackal messages stored there with compassionate connection.

 

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

10/2005

Trainer tip: NVC focuses on shared human values and needs, and encourages the use of language that increases good will -- plus avoidance of language that contributes to resentment or lowered self-esteem. It emphasizes taking personal responsibility for choices and improving the quality of relationships as a primary goal. For today, focus on making observations without moralistic judgment in at least two of your interactions.

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LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article

1-2 minutes

04/2020

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

10/2005

Trainer tip: When you want to thank someone expressing what that person did, how you felt about and what needs were met for you, can provide the other person with more information. It can also help her more fully understand how she contributed to you, and deepen your connection with her.

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Miki Kashtan

Article

22 - 31 minutes

05/2020

Within the pandemic, limitations of our market economies are more visible. Extreme need is exposed when the economy is collapsing and so many people are without jobs. We can now see how it’s possible to direct resources where they are most needed, solely out of care and interconnection. This is a call to explore a more viable way of living, that centers relationship over transaction.

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LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Practice Exercise

2-3 minutes

03/2020

Emotional regulation is the consistent capacity to fully experience one’s feelings, particularly when they are intense and/or painful. Here are 36 practices that help with emotional regulation that can be done alone or with others. Read on for more.

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Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

10/2005

Trainer tip: Empathy can offer profound learning opportunities to children, expand their feelings and needs vocabulary, and teach them the positive results of valuing everyone’s needs. Read on for a story that illustrates this.

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