Welcome to the NVC Library

Roxy Manning suggests that in navigating a situation where accusations of racism and a white savior complex arise, the facilitator emphasizes the distinction between intention and impact. Acknowledging the pain of the aggrieved person, the facilitator clarifies that racism is about impact, not necessarily intention. Encouraging a focus on the impact first, the facilitator invites understanding of the internal and systemic levels of the experience. Despite the person's insistence on their intention, the facilitator remains firm in prioritizing the discussion of impact. The goal is to create a space for acknowledging and addressing the impact before delving into intentions.

Join Itzel Hayward and Kathy Simon as they present two role-play scenarios showcasing diverse approaches to navigating difficult conversations. Throughout the demonstration, they underscore the significance of cultivating self-empathy and mindfulness to effectively engage in challenging dialogues. Specifically, they introduce a role-play scenario concerning affirmative action, aimed at illustrating the contrasting outcomes when utilizing or not utilizing nonviolent communication skills.

Yoram Mosenzon shares that the role of a mediator is often misconceived as solving conflicts, which can create stress and exacerbate the conflict. Instead, the true essence of mediation is about remaining untriggered, understanding the pain of the conflicting parties, and facilitating communication.

Duke Duchscherer shares that community well-being is created by the relationships that exist within the community. He discerns two vital components: bonding connections within similar groups and bridging connections between different groups. This interplay forms what is commonly termed as social capital, a cornerstone of community vitality.

Duke says that a community's strength lies in its ability to foster connections across diverse backgrounds. This notion resonates deeply with him, reinforcing his commitment to utilizing restorative circles. These circles, with their focus on building and restoring relationships, hold the key to enhancing collective resilience and unity. He believes they represent a proactive approach to sustaining community cohesion and preventing fragmentation in the face of adversity.

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“The Embodied Spirituality of Nonviolent Communication” is an introduction to NVC created from recordings of trainings Robert Gonzales offered in Hawaii in 2007 on the islands of Maui and Kauai. 

This collection is a celebration of Robert's life and one way we can honor his outstanding work.

The original product was a set of DVDs. NVC Academy has converted the original 3 DVD set into 5 mp4 videos. We have taken care to preserve the original product while simultaneously upgrading to HD video and remastering the audio in this new mp4 format.

Roxy Manning discusses the distinction between group purpose and group agreements. Group purpose is identified as the reason for gathering, such as learning to facilitate groups with a focus on inclusion and contribution. Group agreements are the policies or intentions to support the purpose, like creating space for all voices or forming affinity groups to address identity-specific challenges. The emphasis is on how agreements facilitate the manifestation of the group's purpose.

Aya Caspi delves into the impact of societal structures and parenting approaches on individuals, particularly the prevalence of extrinsic motivation rooted in fear of punishment, desire for rewards, and a sense of obligation. The emphasis is on how these dynamics contribute to collective trauma and affect brain development. Examples, such as Hitler's childhood and the adverse effects of the educational system, are used to illustrate the consequences of such practices. Aya advocates for systemic change in these structures and emphasizes the role of non-judgmental practices in potentially reducing adult depression. The discussion highlights the importance of empathy and challenges the traditional methods that may lead to emotional neglect and trauma, emphasizing the potential benefits of embracing non-judgmental approaches in parenting and societal frameworks.

Roxy Manning delves into the concept of psychological safety, drawing from Amy Edmondson's definition as the shared belief among team members that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking. Roxy discusses the common misconception of safety within teams, where the absence of open discussions is mistaken for safety, creating an illusion of negative peace. Negative peace involves avoiding discomfort and maintaining comfort for those with structural or social power, often at the expense of others silently suffering. Roxy emphasizes the importance of differentiating between discomfort and true psychological safety, where teams can openly address challenging issues, even if it means temporary discomfort. She encourages naming and understanding these dynamics to foster a psychologically safe and inclusive team environment.

As parents, aligning our values with our actual behavior can be challenging. In this video, Roxy discusses the importance of modeling behavior for children, both in how they handle challenges and in their overall approach to life. Her message encourages using real-life examples to show that everyone is a work in progress and that it's okay not to be perfect.

What would it be like if we raised children who already knew how to be inclusive, who already understood climate change, and who knew that they had a role in keeping our planet liveable? Roxy Manning believes that how we parent can support the next generation in showing up with an innate connection to Social Change.

Roxy Manning shares that facilitating equitable group dynamics involves tracking attention, needs, purpose alignment, resources, and impact. Identifying patterns in attention distribution, centered needs, and maintaining alignment with the purpose enhances inclusivity. Tracking internal and external resources, especially considering identity-related differences, prevents disparities. Recognizing who bears the impact, providing support, and addressing impactful issues contribute to fostering an equitable facilitation environment.

Building relationships happens through dialogue and understanding the deeper meaning behind the words spoken. It’s about active listening that focuses on feelings and needs so you may truly comprehend the speaker’s message. In this video, Duke introduces two components of communication and how the restorative dialogue process supports mutual understanding.

In this snippet from Duke Duchscherer's course, Restorative Dialogues: Transforming Conflict, Building Community Resilience, he shares a structured approach for conflict resolution or communication facilitation. It involves a facilitator guiding a conversation between two parties in conflict. The process begins with one party expressing their perspective while the other listens actively. The facilitator then prompts the listener to paraphrase what they heard, ensuring mutual understanding. This cycle continues until both parties feel heard. Subsequently, the facilitator encourages them to discuss potential solutions collaboratively. Once both sides are satisfied, the session concludes, with participants potentially swapping roles for further practice. The aim is for everyone involved to gain experience in effective communication and conflict resolution.

In parenting, Roxy Manning notes the tendency for self-judgment and external judgment. Roxy suggests that being a single parent or a working parent influences your ability to implement parenting strategies. The importance of assessing the feasibility of strategies in one's current life context is emphasized. Roxy encourages self-compassion and mourning the gap between desired and achievable outcomes. Her message encourages understanding personal constraints and practicing self-compassion in parenting.

Yoram Mosenzon shares an exercise and demo to explore the process of identifying observations and using judgements (jackals) to find the needs.

Children interpret and create meaning from everything they observe. They form a narrative about themselves and their place in the world. Roxy Manning shares how the stories of parents contribute to this narrative. Roxy shares a personal story where she, in an attempt to highlight her son's intellectual gifts, unintentionally influenced him to believe he couldn't do things on his own and wasn't smart. The impact of stories like this on a child's self-perception is long-lasting. Roxy urges us to consider the unintended messages that our words and actions may convey, as these narratives can be challenging to shift once established.

Aya Caspi, a Certified NVC Trainer discusses how the "story" we tell ourselves about human nature impacts our childhood and the roles we are taught to play in society.

Roxy Manning discusses the connection between the challenges parents face with their children and the qualities they want them to develop. She highlights the importance of aligning actions with desired outcomes, using the example that if parents value independence, they should encourage choice rather than demanding compliance. She encourages parents to consider the long-term impact of their parenting choices on shaping their children's future behavior.

Marshall Rosenberg used to talk about every situation with the same level of joy a child might feel. This may seem impossible at first! But when you focus on all the ways something is hard, you miss out on the full experience and remove your sense of choice. In this video, Mary shares several benefits of positivity and lots of examples along the way.