Welcome to the NVC Library

Marshall Rosenberg used to talk about every situation with the same level of joy a child might feel. This may seem impossible at first! But when you focus on all the ways something is hard, you miss out on the full experience and remove your sense of choice. In this video, Mary shares several benefits of positivity and lots of examples along the way. 

What is empowered speech and how does it link to interdependence? How do you speak in a way that increases the chances of being heard and creates space where individuals are more inclined to listen and act? In this excerpt from the 2021 course, Working Together for Change, Itzel and Kathy explore how to do this by integrating empowered speech, attuned speech, and a commitment to maintaining connections.

Discussion into the difficult topic of parenting, childhood trauma, and social status.

Robert Gonzales shares how embracing impermanence involves continually growing in his ability to accept unmet needs, to be comfortable with discomfort and unwanted experiences. Robert shares a quote by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow about letting it rain, emphasizing the simplicity and wisdom in accepting life's experiences as they come.

Each of us has a range of capacities. Miki Kashtan describes this as a range from "floor to ceiling." Floor capacity is what happens when you hit your limitation, ceiling capacity is when you are closest to functioning in line with your values and vision. This video describes the need to work on both to prevent the gap from expanding.

When you say yes, check if you are saying it out of submission. Similarly, when you say no, are you saying it genuinely or out of rebellion? Marshall Rosenberg calls this a loss or erosion of goodwill which can destroy or undermine relationships. In this video, Rachelle Lamb shares how submission and rebellion in communication can diminish your power.

An exploration of different kinds of judgments and examples of each.

Stay grounded in uncertainty by focusing on present facts instead of future speculation.

Yvette Erasmus shares Terry Real's grid as a tool for exploring a spectrum of emotional responses. We all have feelings and sometimes we get dysregulated or frozen up. How do you want to express and be in connection with other people? Can you attune to the relational context that you are in?

Mary Mackenzie shares how Marshall Rosenberg's Four D's of Disconnection live in her. Join Mary and learn how you can reframe the 4 D's to enhance connection.

Duke Duchscherer shares that Restorative Circles have the ability to transform relationships. Groups may start with feelings of worry, anxiety, fear, anger, and even hatred. The dialogue process supports a shift to more ease, connection, and trust.

How do you solve a conflict? By not trying to solve it! Yoram suggests building your conflict resolution muscles by practicing connecting to the needs behind the conflict instead. Check out this excerpt from Session 1 of his 2021 course, Connecting in Conflict and the Art of Navigating Dialogue. Listen.

Yvette Erasmus shares that we can translate or shift how we hear right and wrong language. We can use the cue - What is needed? I wonder what they are needing? This helps direct my attention to more relationality.

Have you ever found yourself passing judgment on a co-worker's seemingly disorganized desk? Mary Mackenzie's experience sheds light on the fact that she and her colleague with the "messy desk" shared a common need for order. Recognizing that our needs align can lead to a softening of judgments, creating space for connection, understanding, and harmony.

So many of us have been taught to solve conflicts by what is “fair.” However, Miki Kashtan states that fairness is a separating concept. In this video, she describes how when we do not have the conditions to care for all needs involved, when we live within separation, fairness is second best. 

Resonant language is language that takes us out of the static brain space and into the brain’s fluid space. In this video, Sarah describes the basics of resonant language and how, when you start to move into the fluid space of the right brain hemisphere, everything starts to change.

Yoram Mosenzon discusses judgmental dialogue and its hidden aim to meet needs. This often creates distance instead of fostering connection. Yoram introduces a self-connection exercise to improve the chances of dialogue becoming more enriching and life-serving.

Yvette Erasmus shares practices to help us develop a regulated nervous system. We all get hijacked and triggered at some point. When that happens we can travel a blame and shame road or we can greet ourselves with graciousness and self compassion.

Taking a look at how our unconscious biases often go unexamined and unchallenged.