Flash Sale! 50% Off Select Course Recordings
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Trainer Tip: Sometimes our actions keep us from meeting our needs. Let’s say you long for connection with others, but you are also afraid of it, so you push people away. Then you tell yourself that no one likes you, resulting in depression and self-criticism. Self-empathy can help clarify what we truly want rather than focusing on what is wrong with others or ourselves, and help us align in ways more likely to meet our needs.
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Trainer Tip: Mindfulness, focusing on what's happening now, is the foundation of Compassionate Communication. The more present we are, the greater the chance we will be aware of our needs and meet them, thus the greater opportunity for joy. Connect to your feelings and needs at least four times today. Notice how differently you conduct your day when you are mindful.
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Thursdays, Sundays, and Tuesdays, July 6-20, 2023 (seven sessions)
7:30am-9:30am Pacific (California) Time
There is no set amount for this course. Though we offer below guidance to people in choosing how much to give, it is intended as support for you, not as specific requests. We invite people to register using a gift economy approach so that everyone can have access and our work can also be sustainable. We ask that you give the most that you can do without overstretching or resentment. You can learn more about our thinking and about choosing your amount here.
The live course is complete. You can register to receive access to the recorded sessions.
The live course is complete. You can register to receive access to the recorded sessions.
When you register, you will receive an email with complete instructions on how to access your course.
Note that course recordings display images of active speakers only, and are made available to all registrants.
When speaking to decision makers about social change issues it helps to communicate with compassion, clarity, curiosity, calm, and respect while seeking to understand their needs. This way there’s a better chance for more trust and connection that’s crucial for a win-win strategy to come about. This may take several conversations.
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Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We need feedback to keep such conduct in check.
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Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".
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This anecdote illustrates how a young man had the social awareness to consider how male conditioning may bring up competitiveness in his interactions with another man. The young man offered transparency and checked for consent in a way that shows an embodiment of power-with, togetherness, consideration, care, collaboration... and all without displaying any formal NVC training, and without looking to impress.
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Among NVC practitioners, empathy can be superficial. How open are you to being influenced by what others are saying? Do you reflect back and then guard and remain within your position of being right, even as you say otherwise? Only when we're eager to be influenced by what they say can we connect, expand our world and thus, shift the field. Without such openness we fool ourselves into thinking we are truly empathic listeners.
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No one on their deathbed wished they worked more. Working is unlikely to bring a meaningful life. And yet greeting friends with survivalist expressions, such as “I'm dead-tired", can feel like affirming our own worth. Taking time off can bring inner spaciousness, ease, rest and consequently time to meet life, to really meet it. Which brings more clarity into the question of what we would like to celebrate on our deathbed.
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How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.
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