Browse the NVC Library

The question “Is X an evaluation?” (where “X" represents whatever word is under discussion) has taken up some controversy in the NVC network. Often, context changes the meaning and assessment of words (eg. use of the term "domination" as in "You’re trying to dominate me!” vs. “domination societies”). Read on for several questions that can support understanding whether a term is evaluative, and reflect on the results it produces.

For effective dialogue clarify your needs, boundaries, and requests beforehand. Setting boundaries is telling someone what you're going to do in order to meet or protect needs for yourself or others. Whereas with requests, even if you have preferences, you still hold open curiosity about strategies to collaborate with others in meeting needs. Read on for more.

Is it tough to see a loved one go through hardship? May you have tension building up inside and draw a rigid boundary, or feel the urgency to swoop in and try to “rescue” them with advice, consoling, cheering up, analyzing, or explaining? Instead, relax your body. Invite your emotions to flow with acceptance. Notice inner peace and expansion. See this person as someone on a journey to awakening with all its painful and joyful twists and turns.

How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy. 

Trainer Tip: When we respond in a way that is less than our ideal in terms of using NVC, we don't have to give up and think we are no good at NVC or that NVC doesn't work!

Here's a daily self-acceptance practice you can bring into your life whenever you are experiencing pain, tension, contraction, lack of fulfillment, or unmet needs or values. Giving your often undesired experiences space can be a path to greater inner connection and peace.

Mary Mackenzie, an internationally renowned CNVC Certified Trainer, demonstrates two exercises that will help you learn fast “on the run” self-empathy techniques. The video includes practical techniques to guide you toward noticing your physical sensations, feelings and needs.

 One of the key challenges of engaging in dialogue in the workplace is that – while we are all equally human – the norms of the workplace make honest and open dialogue challenging, especially when power differences are present. This course offers a plethora of considerations and tips designed to allow you to humanize your relationships at work, focus on your common goals, and bring more collaboration and goodwill to your team – and beyond.