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In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between revealing ourselves and projection.

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Someone may give more weight to your ideas, decisions, and directives based on your experience and what you've learned. This could influence them to project their ideals, fears, hopes, and more onto you. In this case, you can help transform this and contribute to their connection to their own agency, authenticity, and self-trust -- while supporting their ability to learn from what you have to offer.

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When we're judging we're less able to access both what we care about and constructive next actions. Instead, create more internal space and agency starting with connecting to your feelings and needs; then feel your grief or disappointment; followed by getting curious about the other party's needs and context -- and then based on collective needs and the long term effects make requests or take aligned action that works for all.

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Learning Tool

30 - 60 minutes

5/20/2019

Use these cards in your practice group or NVC training to understand 4 different ways of responding to hard to hear messages. Become aware of the way you habitually respond to stimulus and develop skills to respond with empathy and express honestly.

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How do you repair a relationship when you've already said things you regret, and want to reconnect with explaining or defending yourself? Listen as Miki Kashtan offers two valauble tips.

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One way to understand trauma is it means we got a blow greater than our nervous system can tolerate – then we move into hyperarousal, and then hypoarousal or dissociation. This cycle can continue long after. Here, we're not able to fully process emotional cues, information, our body, and others. It's important we consider re-writing the cultural paradigm of separation so that our trauma doesn't get marginalized.

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If you're interested in learning specifically how and what you can do to live compassionately – with plenty of hands-on practice time – this course is for you. Observe actual demonstrations of Robert guiding participants through the transformational territory of healing and integration.

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Duke Duchscherer explores responding to people who are committed to a punitive process rather than a restorative process. He suggests looking for what needs are met by the punitive process. Could those needs be met in a restorative process?
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We can get stuck in our heads. All kinds of thoughts float into our minds. We then get thoughts about those thoughts, they might even make you feel a certain way or change a behaviour. But what happens when we connect our feelings with the physical sensations in our bodies? As part of our teaching at NVC we have incorporated movement work to help us connect with where we hold emotions and how we can process them effectively.

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Article

3 - 5 minutes

01/2018

Listening is a cornerstone of dialogue and a powerful metaphor for spiritual practice. When we’re willing and able to listen, we open a conduit that allows connection and understanding to happen.

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