Browse the NVC Library

Listen to John answer an NVC Library member's question about what we can do when we habitually place other's needs ahead our own. Healing and change can be reached through compassionate self-connection, needs awareness, mourning and mindfulness.

In this written transcript of a live presentation, Inbal Kashtan shares how she first became aware of poverty. She explains how empathy is a vital and powerful force for creating peace in our world today, and a powerful means of creating a world that works for all of us.

It seems death cafes are everywhere these days. But how changed are we by the conversations we're now having? Not everyone is open to talking about death. It may well be that someone in your life is nearing the end of their days and their refusal to talk about it may be confusing and disheartening. How do you get them to speak when they don't want to? In this session, we will explore different approaches to navigating this tricky terrain.

Speaking the truth creates congruence, which creates trust, facilitating understanding and cooperation. Without truth there is no growth in our relationships and community. If this is true, then what keeps us from speaking our truth?

To tell the difference between empathy and investigation, watch for distinctions along four different dimensions: energy, subject, intention and trust. These distinctions can help us engage awareness and skill to meet your needs and respond to others’ needs in more direct ways. The more you meet your needs in conscious and direct ways, the more present you can be for others. Read on for more about how to do this.

CNVC Certified Trainer Lore Baur shares how, as a teacher, the classroom is a laboratory for learning NVC and incorporating the NVC consciousness into the classroom. Topics discussed include empathy, permission to educate, protective use of force, corrective action, choice & options and re-do.

Trainer Tip: Oftentimes, when we mix an evaluation and observation, we promote defensiveness in other people. When we are able to separate the two, we are more likely to create opportunities to promote open dialogue about our concerns. Be aware of your evaluations and observations today.

What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy transformed a child's impulse to hit another child.

In times of stress, some part of you may still hold the belief that you can't be present for the stressor and survive. Some part of you may believe you have to go away. There are three things you can consider when attempting to intervene with the reactive pattern of shutting down: how you relate to the shutting down, access to self-confidence, and engagement. Read on for more.