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Article

10 - 15 mins

9/20/2023

The question “Is X an evaluation?” (where “X" represents whatever word is under discussion) has taken up some controversy in the NVC network. Often, context changes the meaning and assessment of words (eg. use of the term "domination" as in "You’re trying to dominate me!” vs. “domination societies”). Read on for several questions that can support understanding whether a term is evaluative, and reflect on the results it produces.

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An addiction to something (eg. opioids, fats, sugars, salts, cigarettes, coffee, alcohol, etc.) or a compulsion (eg. gambling, shopping, working, sex or love addictions) is often an unconscious attempt to soothe trauma - fear, loneliness and shame that's frozen in unconscious memory. The addiction or compulsion is a substitute for what we really need. It is an endless craving that's never enough. Read on for more.

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One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Seid's exercise called  "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

10/2005

Trainer Tip: Notice an opportunity today to use honesty as a means to connect with someone else. Consider what type of honesty might stimulate pain in others.

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Conflict occurs when disagreements undermine the sense of trust and safety in family, workplace, or community. Shantigarbha shares nine tips for addressing, and even transforming conflict.

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Mary explains the value of expressing ourselves honestly. Watch as Mary uses the 4-step Nonviolent Communication process to express needs clearly, honestly and compassionately. She follows with concrete examples to help you anchor your learning process to deepen your authenticity and honest expression skills.

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Even in the face of societal upheavals we can look for what's in our power to change. For example, we can participate in systemic change, and heal whatever we need to heal that which keeps us from living our values more readily. We can take the time to be present to those in pain, and to show up fully in our lives even when we feel stress. We can take strides to make a difference towards creating the world we want to live in.

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Eric Bowers explains how needs and strategies correlate to different brain hemispheres, and how relaxing into our needs opens us to greater possibilities.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

04/08/2022

Trainer Tip: Every human being has the same universal needs -- even as each person may choose different strategies to meet those needs. Notice the universal needs you share with other people today.

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Because we affect one another it can be hard to know where to take responsibility and where to leave it with the other person. This means we need self empathy, and presence for another's struggles without compulsion to "make them happy" or bring them healthy change. You can then attend to the needs and to your choice about if and how you want to contribute with compassion. Respect them as autonomously in charge of their unique process of change. With this, you honor your life and theirs. And where, what, and how you will invest your precious life energy.

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