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The "inner jackal" is probably be better known as the "inner critic", that nagging voice of self-sabotage that undermines our confidence. It's a voice that won't go away in a hurry! So here are our four top tips for getting into positive communication with it.

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Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

Circa 2007

Ask the Trainer: "I am wondering what to do with a judgment that is expressed by someone about me. In these situations I can't find the unmet need they are expressing (other than perhaps significance)."

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Trainer Tip: We feel our freedom when we are willing to look at others’ needs and our own, evaluate all of them and work toward valuing everyone’s needs. Take the time to demonstrate that you value everyone’s needs as much as your own today.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

10/2005

Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

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Miki works with a course participant to transform begrudging attendance at a mandatory meeting into the possibility for collaboration, more connection where little is expected and focus on clarity of purpose for meeting in the first place.

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Miki Kashtan hosted Living Room Radio Show on KPFA Radio 94.1FM in Berkeley, California, USA. Listen as she works with a a woman whose relationship is challenged by what happens when her lover drinks. In this segment, Miki encourages the caller to get support for her stress, find an outlet for it and receive empathy. Miki addresses the challenges of addiction, the self-judgment of trying to meet needs by drinking and the pain this causes for everyone involved. She further suggests that the caller try to connect to the needs he is trying to meet by drinking, and to identify those that are actually being met and those that aren’t.

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Trainer tip: The phrase “tragic expressions of unmet needs” is used to convey how often we do things that aren’t likely to meet our needs. It’s not bad, it’s tragic -- because it won’t help us meet our needs. Acknowledging this, we can then consider a different approach that's more likely to lead to satisfying results. Read on for three examples of where this may apply in your life.

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Join Dian Killian as she reframes the 4 steps of NVC (observations, feelings, needs, requests) into everyday words you might hear at work.

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Sometimes the empathy you offer may stimulate disconnect or a sense of boundary crossing for the other person. To identify what might have contributed to the disconnect you can look for the signs, the level of attunement and the context, and examine what's happening in you. Read on for more.

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Trainer Tip: The exchange of resources, that is, exchanging money for an item or service, is enhanced and better appreciated when we are connected to its personal value rather than its cost.

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