Trainer Tip: It can be more productive and satisfying to focus on what we want than on what we don’t have or don’t like. What will help rectify the situation? What would you like someone to do now or next time? This can eliminate much of the emotional pain caused by berating yourself or others. The moment your focus is on what is wrong with your life or what's lacking, take a moment to shift it to what you want.

We live in a world where there is a lot of anger. It can be a strong and intense emotion that we feel or receive from others sometimes on a daily basis. Whether that's an agitated partner, road rage, or a disgruntled colleague. While we're familiar with this feeling, we're not necessarily well equipped with how to express it in a healthy way. In this month's Life Hack, Shantigarbha takes us through a guided reflection on anger.

When speaking to decision makers about social change issues it helps to communicate with compassion, clarity, curiosity, calm, and respect while seeking to understand their needs. This way there’s a better chance for more trust and connection that’s crucial for a win-win strategy to come about. This may take several conversations.

Learn how unconscious impulses can lead to depleting patterns. Here, we look at two forms of reactive attempts we may use to avoid future pain, and how to make conscious decisions instead. Read on for questions that can help us see if we're making decisions from a grounded place, such as taking time to reflect on values, receive support from others, and getting curious about others' views.

Trainer Tip: In our effort to be heard, we often forget to listen. In fact, your need to be heard will not be met completely until you have heard how what you said affects the other person. If we want to ensure that we're heard we can ask the other person to reflect what they heard us say. And we can hear what's going on with them. It is important to remember that a dialogue is not complete until both people have been heard.

We all blow it sometimes. Maybe we are triggered and react in ways we regret. Or we unknowingly say or do something that unexpectedly touches a nerve for someone else. Either way, how do we heal the disconnection?

In this session, you'll learn how to integrate skills for repairing relationships.

Often making an apology is not enough because people want greater depth of understanding and empathy. Instead of judging ourselves or feeling guilt we can "mourn" what we did that stirred up pain in others. This can bring about a sweet pain that leads to change. Then we can ask ourselves what we can do next time and make a commitment to do this and/or offer a regrets to the person expressing feelings and needs.

Making a decision or boundary that invites someone to be honest about their feelings can be difficult. Remember that lack of authenticity may be due to lack of awareness, inner conflict, or fear of conflict, rather than dishonesty. Offer empathy and reassurance and invite more conversation. Approach with compassion and curiosity to naturally invite more honesty.

The purpose of setting boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. In this video, Yvette Erasmus describes how and why exquisite self-care requires exquisite boundaries.

Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly states how your life was enriched, without judgement.