Welcome to the NVC Library

Roxy Manning's 2023, 4 session course, will help you

• Explore several essential components of facilitation using a caring for all, power-with lens
• Know how to identify and gather together the people who need to be in the room
• Learn tips and strategies for ensuring all voices are heard
• Grow your capacity to name and address power dynamics and unconscious bias that impacts group members’ experience

Our brains often quickly categorizes things as good, bad, right, or wrong and then determines who’s to blame or praise. Maybe this  supports the illusion of order and predictability, thus provides a false sense of safety and reassurance. But its less effective in truly meeting our needs. By practicing "Living in the Observation," we can focus on reality, avoid unhelpful rumination, and find peace and empowerment in everyday life.

Clear, actionable requests are vital for fulfilling needs and maintaining relationships. In NVC, a true request differs from a demand by honoring both parties’ needs equally. Effective requests are specific, present, positive, and doable, and using them strengthens connection, prevents resentment, and promotes mutual understanding. Here are three key skills to making effective requests and three types of requests.

Ever since the Women's Movement of the 60s and 70s, we have known that "the personal is the political" – that individual suffering and challenges often have their source in the social systems within which we live.

How can we mobilize this insight in support of our own and others' healing?

Join Miki Kashtan for this course designed to shed light on how the social context into which we are born affects our experience, and what we can do about it at the individual level within the paradigm of nonviolence. 

When working to repair a relationship after conflict, and after reaching mutual care and understanding, you’re more likely to prevent future disconnection in similar situations by coming to clear, specific, and actionable agreements. Ensure requests for agreements come from a negotiable needs-based dialogue. Clarify specifics and plan to revisit agreements to assess their effectiveness.

Fun jokes: How many NVC practitioners does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many certified, advanced, NVC guru trainers does it take to screw in a light bulb? (Disclaimer: This is a humor piece. To understand why this cartoon might be funny it’s useful to have some experience with NVC and the NVC community.)

In relationships, the desire for space can conflict with the need for intimacy. This conflict arises from different strategies to meet similar needs. By identifying specific needs behind the request for space and understanding the other person’s needs for closeness, both of you can negotiate and collaborate. Repeated conflicts may indicate the need for personal healing, which you’ll need to address individually.

Eradicating judgments is likely impractical as our minds naturally form them. However, understanding inevitable judgments as indicators of our needs rather than truths can foster empathy. Expressing needs rather than judgments can better support connection and openness between one another.

Anger and resentment can signal unmet needs. Through mourning those needs and practicing self-empathy, we may let go of blame, embrace reality, and reclaim responsibility for fulfilling our own needs. This process may lead to emotional transformation through conscious reflection, and a new outlook.