Welcome to the NVC Library

Fun jokes: How many NVC practitioners does it take to screw in a light bulb? How many certified, advanced, NVC guru trainers does it take to screw in a light bulb? (Disclaimer: This is a humor piece. To understand why this cartoon might be funny it’s useful to have some experience with NVC and the NVC community.)

In relationships, the desire for space can conflict with the need for intimacy. This conflict arises from different strategies to meet similar needs. By identifying specific needs behind the request for space and understanding the other person’s needs for closeness, both of you can negotiate and collaborate. Repeated conflicts may indicate the need for personal healing, which you’ll need to address individually.

Learn to listen with presence and power and gain tools to transform conflict in any situation.

Eradicating judgments is likely impractical as our minds naturally form them. However, understanding inevitable judgments as indicators of our needs rather than truths can foster empathy. Expressing needs rather than judgments can better support connection and openness between one another.

Anger and resentment can signal unmet needs. Through mourning those needs and practicing self-empathy, we may let go of blame, embrace reality, and reclaim responsibility for fulfilling our own needs. This process may lead to emotional transformation through conscious reflection, and a new outlook.

Transform your life by aligning actions with values through NVC and somatic tools.

Hearing "no" can bring emotional pain, but it can be delivered in a way that minimizes discomfort. We can find the gift in the request, express feelings and needs instead of saying "no," and offer an alternative solution that supports all parties. This approach fosters honesty, respect, and understanding, while setting boundaries if necessary to protect oneself. Clear communication reduces the likelihood of conflict.

Awaken creativity and self-awareness through color, line, and emotional expression.

Create intimacy with transparency, empathy, and trust—Kelly blends humor, music, and exercises.

Distinguishing between needs and strategies to meet needs is crucial for solving conflict. For example, the need for peace can be met through various strategies beyond solitude or gratitude. Similarly, sex is a strategy. Sexual expression is the need behind it, and can be met in various ways to meet that need without having sex itself. Such flexibility can foster  creativity and deeper connection, enhancing relationships.