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Looking for ways to keep up with NVC Academy news, get special offers, free resources, or words of inspiration? Here are five ways to stay engaged:
Shifting The “Power Over” Pattern At Home
Practice Exercises • 4 - 6 minutes • 7/10/2023
You may want to shift power dynamics in intimate and family relationships -- especially if there's longstanding, unprocessed hurts. Reflect on where, when and with whom you tend to enter reactive “power over” patterns. Explore the feelings and needs that are up for you in those contexts. Imagine other ways that could meet your needs in, or before, those moments. In this way, in similar situations you can have more access to choice.
Have you ever used the phrase "it was just a miscommunication."? We're often good at identifying when communication breaks down but not so good at finding out what went wrong and how we can improve. In this NVC Life Hack, we take a look at different types of communication requests and how they play out in a role play.
Taking Responsibility For Our Requests
Trainer Tips • 1 - 2 minutes • 7/7/2023
Trainer Tip: It's important to design requests to fit specific needs. Otherwise people may do exactly what you ask and still, your needs may not get met. Before you make a request of someone, notice if the strategy you are considering is likely to meet your needs. If not, consider making a different request that may be more satisfying to you.
The Murky Waters of Asymmetric Relationships
Articles • 6 - 9 minutes • 7/4/2023
Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".
What is the Cost of NOT Setting Boundaries
Video • 4 minutes • 07/03/2023
Just as setting boundaries is beneficial to relationships, NOT setting boundaries can come at a big cost. Listen to Yvetter Erasmus share her experience with boundary setting.
Power Over Strategies
Learning Tools • 1 - 2 minutes • 4/20/2023
In Nonviolent Communication "power over" refers to the use of power to dominate or control others. It is a form of violence or force, whether physical, emotional, psychological or otherwise. This learning tool has six lists, each containing different types of power over strategies: physical, sexual, intimidation, economic, emotional, isolation.
The Spirituality of Nonviolent Communication
(6 Session Course)
Multi-session Course • 8 - 10 hours • 06/22/2023
Discover how the perennial strength of compassion and the living energy of needs can help you develop resilience in order to remain present with yourself and others amidst today's challenges.
Replacing Blame With Compassion For Impact
Practice Exercises • 4 - 6 minutes • 6/22/2023
Blame is a misguided habit that's used to avoid pain and suffering, offering only a momentary distraction and oversimplifies complex histories. It also disconnects us from choice and agency, blocks us from discovering more about ourselves and others, and can keep us from having compassionate, self responsible conversations. Instead, we can practice speaking in terms of impact and notice our experience without trying to escape it.
Creating Productive Group Gatherings
Trainer Tips • 1 - 2 minutes • 6/19/2023
Trainer Tip: In an efficient group process, clarity is key. Try to only say things if you are clear what you want back from the group. Then ask for what you want so people don’t have to figure it out for you. If someone says something and you’re not sure what he wants back from the group, anyone can assist by saying this: “I’m confused about what you would like from us. Would you help us clarify what kind of a response you’re looking for?”
Setting Loving Boundaries
Video • 58 minutes • 05/23/2023
The purpose of boundaries is to prevent harm to yourself and others. You decide what you are available for and what you are not. Boundaries are a clear expression of limits that keep your heart open no matter what.
Bystander Intervention
Articles • 2 - 3 minutes • 6/16/2023
Often, people don't help others when others are in danger, whether it is a parent who is abusing a child, a man who is battering his wife, someone sexually harassing another, a bully making fun of someone, or a person who is abusing a pet. However, intervening can save lives. And bring enrichment, peace, safety, care, and justice to the world.
Practicing With Anger
Practice Exercises • 5 - 7 minutes • 6/13/2023
Anger is neither good nor bad. When you don't foresee it or you haven't cultivated a relationship to anger, you may behave from it and hurt yourself and others. There are three reasons anger may rise: primitive anger, resistance, and lack of resources. For practicing with these last two types of anger, we'll look at four practices: cultivate awareness, pause and expand, self-care and planning, and allow grief.
Focusing On What You Want
Trainer Tips • 1 - 2 minutes • 6/10/2023
Trainer Tip: It can be more productive and satisfying to focus on what we want than on what we don’t have or don’t like. What will help rectify the situation? What would you like someone to do now or next time? This can eliminate much of the emotional pain caused by berating yourself or others. The moment your focus is on what is wrong with your life or what's lacking, take a moment to shift it to what you want.
One thing that makes empathic understanding difficult yet valuable is that it can be humbling. If I really open myself to hearing and understanding, while trusting my inner strength of self-knowing, I may be changed by what I hear. My core beliefs or understanding might change and grow. This openness could be key to transforming the energy of conflict into new possibilities for greater connection, creativity, and well-being.
We live in a world where there is a lot of anger. It can be a strong and intense emotion that we feel or receive from others sometimes on a daily basis. Whether that's an agitated partner, road rage, or a disgruntled colleague. While we're familiar with this feeling, we're not necessarily well equipped with how to express it in a healthy way. In this month's Life Hack, Shantigarbha takes us through a guided reflection on anger.
Five Communication Guidelines For Change Agents
Articles • 4 - 6 minutes • 06/07/2023
When speaking to decision makers about social change issues it helps to communicate with compassion, clarity, curiosity, calm, and respect while seeking to understand their needs. This way there’s a better chance for more trust and connection that’s crucial for a win-win strategy to come about. This may take several conversations.
See Old Relationship Dynamics In Intimate Relationships
Practice Exercises • 3 - 5 minutes • 6/4/2023
Learn how unconscious impulses can lead to depleting patterns. Here, we look at two forms of reactive attempts we may use to avoid future pain, and how to make conscious decisions instead. Read on for questions that can help us see if we're making decisions from a grounded place, such as taking time to reflect on values, receive support from others, and getting curious about others' views.
Reaching Critical Mass
Trainer Tips • 2 - 3 minutes • 6/1/2023
We only have this decade to make radical changes to avert crossing over into an unlivable Earth. What's essential is a critical mass of people with capacity to respond to many enormous, daunting social-environmental challenges. This means on a wider scale, responding to conflict, fear, hate, injustice and violence with the ability to see our commonality underlying our differences. And to feel part of a larger whole so we can birth natural caring, togetherness, and cooperation.
Listening, The Next Step
Trainer Tips • 1 - 2 minutes • 6/1/2023
Trainer Tip: In our effort to be heard, we often forget to listen. In fact, your need to be heard will not be met completely until you have heard how what you said affects the other person. If we want to ensure that we're heard we can ask the other person to reflect what they heard us say. And we can hear what's going on with them. It is important to remember that a dialogue is not complete until both people have been heard.
Repair and Heal Disconnection in Relationships
Video • 35 mins • 02/01/2023
We all blow it sometimes. Maybe we are triggered and react in ways we regret. Or we unknowingly say or do something that unexpectedly touches a nerve for someone else. Either way, how do we heal the disconnection? In this session, you'll learn how to integrate skills for repairing relationships.
