Browse the NVC Library

In life, relationships, and organizations, authenticity is the bedrock of effectiveness. It can give rise to effective dialogues, information flow, intimacy, accountability, decision making and follow through. NVC can give us more tools to live with rigor around our authenticity...

Trainer Tip: When do we move from using the formal 4-step process of NVC to a more idiomatic, natural-sounding expression? Whenever we're ready!

Trainer Tip: Punitive use of force stems from a belief that people behave in certain ways because they're bad, and that they need to be punished to mend their ways. One way to punish is to judge them. In contrast, protective use of force stems from a desire to prevent injury or injustice. It focuses on protecting people’s rights and well-being, not judging their behavior.

In the face of needs that are still hungry to be satisfied, we can expand our view, plus generate ideas and creativity that can find new paths forward.  Try these tips to transform our complaint into commitment for a change in strategy that works with needs...

Inbal speaks to a group about our habit of demanding something of our children but making it sound like a request, the components of a true request and the importance of being honest when making a demand.

In moments where we would like to see change, personal growth or spiritual transformation, rather than immediately acting to make a change, Robert suggests we practice unconditional self-acceptance through a spacious presence to our inner experience. Robert asks us to give our attention and spacious awareness to our own judgments, inner contractions, and other experiences we often regard as undesirable.

When Anita's sister reveals that the Ku Klux Klan broke into her home and dragged her out into a field towards a burning cross, Anita's commitment to nonviolence is challenged. Here, Miki highlights practices and lessons from her story of inner struggle -- including an insight about how, even in extreme polarization, our freedom and healing is wrapped up in others' freedom and healing.

Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

Trainer Tip: Empathy is a process in which we acknowledge and understand others' experience without judging or bringing up our own life experience. It can defuse a violent situation and anger in seconds, plus provide a clarity that catapults someone to a deeper level of understanding. The process is simple; listen for their feelings and needs. It can be healing for them to be deeply understood.