Robert Gonzales Training Legacy

Listen to Jim and Jori ask each other about the role of gratitude in their daily activities as they share how gratitude can be a primary tool to help us stay present and at peace.

Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice." As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions. 

Have you been nice? Well then you must be enjoying the reward: depression, intermittent explosiveness, job meaninglessness, ambiguous anxiety, low resentment and subtle self hate. The antidotes: honesty, passion and compassion.

John Cunningham provides support to deepen your understanding and practice of NVC, including a sketch of the participatory and onlooker modes of consciousness, lists of feelings, needs and sample dialogues.

Have you ever gotten a fishing line all tangled up? You got so frustrated you just started yanking on the different loops of line, which of course made the knots and tangles even tighter and more difficult to untangle. Wouldn’t it be great if you could notice the minute you were starting to tangle things up in a discussion with your loved one?

Ask the Trainer: "Could you explore why people 'talk too much' and how I could connect with them and myself empathically when I'm also talking too much?"

Ask the Trainer: “I would like some suggestions on how to interact with a member of the practice group I started. This individual speaks and acts in a manner I interpret as angry and controlling.”

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

Ask the Trainer: "I understand that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept?"

Ask the Trainer: "I feel a lot of fear or nervousness about approaching a neighbor who uses 'wastebasket talk.' Once she's engaged, there are only two techniques that interrupt the flow: leaving or interrupting."