Trainer Tip: Acknowledge that the person’s life has been affected by your actions and enjoy the feeling of warmth you have when you contribute to a life. Try verbally acknowledging how you feel when you hear that you have enhanced her life.
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Trainer Tip: Acknowledge that the person’s life has been affected by your actions and enjoy the feeling of warmth you have when you contribute to a life. Try verbally acknowledging how you feel when you hear that you have enhanced her life.
Reducing overwhelm requires you to reconnect with your authentic choice, be present and compassionate with what's happening, heal trauma, and interrupt the trauma response. Read on for ways that may help you reconnect with your choice, presence and more on trauma.
Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like to you? And how will he know if (s)he’s been attentive enough?
Audio
45 minutes
10/9/2012
Join Eric, as he reveals a clear path from heartbreaking intimate relationships to joyful, thriving intimate relationships. Eric uses his passion for helping singles heal from their past relationships, to help you to experience more ease, joy and mutuality in future relationships.
Why is it so difficult to not take things personally? It's because everything reinforces the sense that whatever is being said is indeed about us – both from without and from within. However, we can get better at not taking things personally with a practice of shifting our focus by being open to multiple interpretations, understanding that our reaction is about our own need, and noticing how the other person’s words, no matter how they sound to us, are an expression of their needs. We can then be more present and available to navigate the situation.
Mindfulness is paying attention in a balanced and nonjudgmental way. To practice mindfulness is to uncover our own biases, revealing we less neutral and objective than we think. This takes great humility. Each time we become aware of our own unconscious biases and blind spots, our world expands. Read on for more about practices to help us see, and transform, our own biases.
Print-and-cut these 71 needs cards for one-on-one, partner or group activities, to help support the pratice of empathy. Includes nine blank cards for you to customize.
Start here to discover how Nonviolent Communication (NVC) will enrich and deepen all your relationships. You'll love this practical and enlightening approach to empathic listening and effective self-expression. Learn on your schedule with self-paced learning modules in this 30-day program. Our 30-day NVC introductory course is conveniently available within the Library to all NVC Library subscribers.
Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.
Most reactivity in intimate relationships comes from a lack of confidence in maintaining intimacy, autonomy, or security. What may help is naming what's happening, interrupting shame, and anchoring or reassuring yourself. You can also reflect on the effects of acting from reactivity. Knowing what helps center you, ask your partner to do or say specific things that might help. Read on for more.