Robert Gonzales Training Legacy

Using real-life examples from class participants, Sylvia Haskvitz demonstrates the life-changing results of clarifying the needs underlying "shoulds."

This exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. Penny Wassman experiences it as an opportunity for people to build connection with one another.

Trainer Tip: In NVC we consider love to be a need. We all need love, but the ways in which we express it can be very different.

Trainer Tip: Could you tell me something I do that meets your need for love?

Trainer Tip: "I often hear people say that someone did something because of a need for control. Control is actually a strategy that is often confused with a need."

Trainer Tip: "Sometimes we are dissatisfied in our primary relationship, yet the thought of making a change is scary, so we stay in it. Sometimes we think we're afraid to learn the truth, so we don't ask direct questions."

Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed how often we back up when we find ourselves in a conflict? Or how much we try to pull away when someone is angry or in emotional pain?

Trainer Tip: Anger can be an opportunity to hear the "Please" behind the words and create a path to resolve conflicts compassionately.

Does unworthiness keep you from expressing vulnerably and honestly? Afraid of being "found out?" Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she explores this topic with a workshop participant to discern stories from needs, recognize the tension between self-acceptance and personal development and sit with the discomfort of self-acceptance.

We sometimes forget our intention to stay fully present and awake, it happens to all of us. Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she explores this forgetting, how we hold it and what we can do about it.