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Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".
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Trainer Tip: All people long for understanding. It is such an easy thing to give, yet rarely do we see its importance in creating peace of mind.
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Trainer Tip: Sometimes our actions keep us from meeting our needs. Let’s say you long for connection with others, but you are also afraid of it, so you push people away. Then you tell yourself that no one likes you, resulting in depression and self-criticism. Self-empathy can help clarify what we truly want rather than focusing on what is wrong with others or ourselves, and help us align in ways more likely to meet our needs.
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Our pattern-making minds make predictions about how best to survive in the world. So deep wounds from our past can influence our minds to make life long generalizations that harden into core beliefs about groups of people. Read on for a demonstration of how empathy can shift these wounds and thus the core beliefs.
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Giving feedback can be a difficult task, sometimes we try to avoid getting to the point and instead end up spending a long time attempting to communicate. We find there are mostly two types of feedback. The first focuses on what is wrong with the person's behaviour and tends to feel more judgemental whereas the second is values-based feedback, focusing on the needs of the people involved.
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Even in the face of societal upheavals we can look for what's in our power to change. For example, we can participate in systemic change, and heal whatever we need to heal that which keeps us from living our values more readily. We can take the time to be present to those in pain, and to show up fully in our lives even when we feel stress. We can take strides to make a difference towards creating the world we want to live in.
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Hi friends, My name is Itzel and I’m happy for this opportunity to share a bit about myself and how I came to teach NVC. I was an activist before I knew what the word meant. When I was a child, I often argued with the adults around me about what I thought was “right.” If I had a nickel for every time a grown-up said to me, “You should be a lawyer,” I probably would’ve collected enough money to pay for the law school education that I eventually got. I left my traditional legal career path after more than a decade to become a...
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Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the giraffe as a metaphor for NVC consciousness? What can it help us understand about NVC consciousness? Read on for more.
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Hello friends. I’m Roxy Manning. When Mary invited me to write this letter, I could not help but reflect on what has been most alive for me recently… the way many of us will easily help someone else, but fear to ask for help for ourselves. On December 4, I had an operation. My doctor predicted my recovery would take three weeks. As I prepared for the time off, I rushed to complete all of my work and personal commitments. I prepped and froze dishes so I would have things to eat after and arranged meal deliveries. Very few people knew I was having an operation and I reached out to only one person for support after. In hindsight, I was doing everything I could so...
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Workplace relationships are complex. Each employee brings their unique self to work. Their background, perspective, emotional triggers, and working style. Add to this the dynamics of power relations, and the fact that often workplace communication now takes place at our computer keyboards rather than face-to-face. Sylvia Haskvitz offers practical tips to make today's complex workplace relationships more satisfying and effective.
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Trainer Tip: In Compassionate Communication, we consider needs to be universal. That means that while we all have the same needs, such as for love, support, shelter, food, joy, caring, etc., we choose different ways to meet our needs.
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Rita learns the power of silent empathy while visiting her daughter and offering unsolicited advice.
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Eric offers us a list of some of his favorite books, articles, and videos related to building successful relationships.
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- Celebrate and nurture your relationship to the Earth — and each other!
- Explore your connections to family, partner, work, nature, self and more
- Discover new ways to grow in community and work together to make this world a better place
- Engage and immerse yourself in NVC while making new friends!
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We’re in the throws of a particularly worrisome presidential election in the USA. Combined with world affairs and the global warming of our earth, we are seeing a level of despair higher than I ever remember experiencing.
As a result, the level of blaming others, judgments, dis-ease, and lack of trust that I experience or hear about every day is at an all-time high. I think there’s so much fear that we’ve begun lashing out at others, and rage is either visible or ever lurking.
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We can see anger as an alarm or signal that can inform us that unmet needs require attention, or that we hold judgements. We can shift our own anger in several healthy ways: get present, identify the stimulus and any judgements or unmet needs, look for ways to meet our needs, make requests that support our needs, express our needs to ourselves and appropriate others, and more.
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Trainer Tip: Stating our observations, feelings and needs can still be heard as criticism if we don't follow it up right away with a specific, doable request. Ending your statement with a request for what you want can clarify the situation and reduce the chances that you'll be met with defensiveness. Read on for an example.
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It's important to make requests specific and doable. Also, without a swift request immediately after we state our observation, feeling, and need in regard to the situation, the other person is left guessing what we want. Instead, a swift request can bring clarity and lessen the potential for the listener to become defensive or argue.
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- Share NVC in a way that keeps your group engaged
- Walk away with practical facilitation tips and 5 session outlines
- Know how to respond to nay-sayers
- Learn how to promote your work
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Children interpret and create meaning from everything they observe. They form a narrative about themselves and their place in the world. Roxy Manning shares how the stories of parents contribute to this narrative. Roxy shares a personal story where she, in an attempt to highlight her son's intellectual gifts, unintentionally influenced him to believe he couldn't do things on his own and wasn't smart. The impact of stories like this on a child's self-perception is long-lasting. Roxy urges us to consider the unintended messages that our words and actions may convey, as these narratives can be challenging to shift once established.

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