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Trainer Tip: Mary explains why success isn't dependent upon another person's pain, by reaching for consensus instead of self-sacrifice.
Ask the Trainer: "I have the understanding that the unconscious is vast compared to conscious mind. When I state 'needs' how well can I depend on there being something beneath my awareness that is actually the motivation?"
Ask the Trainer: "I just started teaching in a public school and I'm not enjoying the violence that teachers express towards children and their colleagues. However, when I talk about NVC, most people listen but I feel they're either not understanding it or..."
Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes
Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. Eric offers some tips for approaching...
Ask the Trainer: "Recently, I was sitting in my weekly practice group trying to connect to my reasons for wanting to give empathy to a particular person. She was telling us about some painful feeling she was having, but was not connecting to her needs."
Trainer Tip
3 - 5 minutes
Eric offers some tips for nurturing and affirming ourselves as a daily practice.
Trainer Tip: The very process of giving someone space to talk about their issue without our judgment, to be truly understood by us, and to be deeply heard is very healing, enough so that most people will organically find their own creative ways to resolve their issues. Rely on this process and you will lose all desire to fix people’s problems. Try this out today.
Nonviolent Communication includes a practice of empathy that involves listening for feelings and needs no matter how someone expresses themselves, and reflecting back the feelings and needs when it is helpful to do so. You can reflect back in a traditional NVC manner, or in a more creative way, with metaphors.
Audio
3 hours, 17 minutes
Join CNVC Certified Trainers Inbal Kashtan and Roxy Manning, for a passionate and intimate exploration of how NVC can support personal and social transformation in the area of power relations and social divisions.
Trainer Tip: All people long for understanding. It is such an easy thing to give, yet rarely do we see its importance in creating peace of mind.
When we take a leap in life and put our hearts out into the world in new or bigger ways—sharing a song, dance, or poem, writing a book, competing at a sporting event, giving a speech, and so on—there is greater potential for aliveness but also for shame and pain
Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a...
Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Eric explains how we can often avoid regret by getting empathy before making important decisions.
Trainer Tip: The change you're looking for begins with a single step.
Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."
Can you give me advice on what to do when people won't talk to me? I find it very difficult to discover what their needs are that aren't being met! Also, how can I be effective with people who don't actually want to think about why they're being the way they are?
Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"
Trainer Tip: We often find ourselves slipping into old behaviors that we would rather change. This is because we don’t have a new plan for responding to the same old situations. In that case, notice whether you are slipping into old behaviors today. Connect to your unmet needs and then identify a new strategy for the situation.
Trainer tip: Why do NVC practitioners sometimes use the jackal as a metaphor in the NVC world? What can it teach us? Read on for more.