Trainer Tip: Wanting collaboration? Show you value the other person's needs as much as your own. After you both feel heard, you can make joint decisions about specifics of the agreement, such as "division of work", "scope of project", "when the action will take place", "how it'll be done" and "timing of follow up to see how things went". Read on for an example of how this is applied to asking someone to pitch in with doing chores.

Nonviolent Communication at its core is about the quality of connection that will lead to everybody's needs being met. In this months 'Purpose of NVC' episode, we ask ourselves five questions that help us gain an awareness of where Nonviolent Communication is being used.

In some situations you might expect people to show a degree of maturity or skill. When they don't, your anger-fueled response doesn't lead to lasting improved relationship change. Instead, find someone who retains focus on your feelings and needs rather than colluding with you about what should(n't) be. This can support greater acceptance, grief, vulnerability, groundedness and discernment, from which next steps can arise.

Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help them to want to collaborate and resolve conflict.

Here's a table outlining eight ideas people have regarding what NVC "is". It provides columns for the principle, related needs and strategies of the NVC approach. You can add to the table your own ideas for NVC approaches. Included are five sets of reflection questions to explore what speaks to you, what would expand your range of options, what brings up discomfort, and more.

When people get hurt or harmed, how can we restore trust, safety and connection in the community? A restorative approach which focuses on who got hurt and how can we restore it? Rather than whose fault is it and how can we punish them?

Use this interactive empathy exercise to track the relationship and shifting of body sensations, feelings and needs as you note them out loud.

Receiving anger from another can be a reactive trigger for many of us. In this brief segment, Arnina provides us a strategy for staying in the conversation instead of physically leaving.

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between freedom and submission / rebellion.

Trainer Tip: We all have the same needs, but may prioritize different needs at different times -- and that order of prioritization may look different from other people's perspectives. If your prioritization of needs isn't the same as another's, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with you nor them. We can look for many ways to meet our prioritized needs.