This exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. Penny Wassman experiences it as an opportunity for people to build connection with one another.

When Rita first learned about silent empathy she didn't know how soon she'd try it out. She was visiting her daughter and making comments about her life, analyzing her behavior, giving her unsolicited view on everything.

Trainer Tip: Have you ever noticed how often we back up when we find ourselves in a conflict? Or how much we try to pull away when someone is angry or in emotional pain?

Trainer Tip: Anger can be an opportunity to hear the "Please" behind the words and create a path to resolve conflicts compassionately.

CNVC Certified Trainer Shantigarbha Warren offers a report of his recent NVC training trip to Israel/Palestine, India and Sri Lanka and clarifies how NVC can support social change in three very different contexts. Included is an exercise, based on Gandhi’s teaching.

Trainer Tip: In NVC we consider love to be a need. We all need love, but the ways in which we express it can be very different.

Trainer Tip: Could you tell me something I do that meets your need for love?

Trainer Tip: "I often hear people say that someone did something because of a need for control. Control is actually a strategy that is often confused with a need."

Trainer Tip: "Sometimes we are dissatisfied in our primary relationship, yet the thought of making a change is scary, so we stay in it. Sometimes we think we're afraid to learn the truth, so we don't ask direct questions."