NVC Resources on Connection

When we have few external resources (money, time, health connections, etc), we can still empower ourselves and one another. We can strengthen our internal resources, inspire people to join our cause, build solidarity, and influence others who have external resources to support us and our causes.

When you attempt to make a request what limiting beliefs come up? See if you recognize any from this list. Then compassionately observe your body sensations, impulses, feelings, needs, memories, energy, and images. In making the request ensure your request is connected to your needs, is doable, what you want, and not attached to them saying yes.

If we befriend our fear we cannot be paralyzed by it. Every fear that arises is a moment to increase our capacity. Fear is connected to something that is precious to us. We also can see what we do to numb our pain and how we try to avoid it. This knowledge can help us to choose healthier strategies to deal with our fears.

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite...

Effective and connected dialogue requires significant self-awareness, mindfulness, and skill. You can focus on any of these six areas that most often escape your awareness: anchoring and staying grounded; boundaries; thoughts and beliefs; stuckness or attachment; feelings and needs; and requests. Read on for a list of questions to help you focus on how to do that.

There's the real need. And then there's the privilege that’s offered as a substitute for it. Privilege substitutes support the existing structure of society. It can look to us as if giving up the privilege would amount to giving up everything -- if we don't believe the real needs can even be experienced. If we connected directly to the needs, we could become subversive, agents of change.

Trainer Tip: People’s choice of words may be difficult to hear. In fact, we may feel downright aggravated by them. Whether we enjoy these statements or not, we can begin to recognize that behind each statement is a desire to meet needs, either by saying please or thank you. In this way, we are more likely to feel compassion because we have connected to their humanness. Listen for the please or...

Trainer Tip: The exchange of resources, that is, exchanging money for an item or service, is enhanced and better appreciated when we are connected to its personal value rather than its cost.

Miki explains how teachers and administrators can become more effective in relating to themselves, other faculty and staff, and they can contribute more to students' ability to feel connected and energized. Nonviolent Communication provides specific tools to empower ourselves and others to live more in line with our values and deeper needs.

Given all that we are facing today as a society and a species, amongst some of the things we need is a well nourished heart. To nourish our hearts we need to discern where to wisely put our attention. Here are three practices to reclaim your attention, and replenish your reserves, so that you have the inner resources to do the work that is calling you. They are: train the mind, nourish the...

Differentiation means you can access both autonomy and intimacy in relationships. When you're unafraid to lose yourself or be controlled, you can feel deeply connected and affected, while standing strong in yourself. Differentiation also means ability to tolerate disharmony and differences, self-soothe, offer compassion, and set boundaries. Here, we'll focus on setting boundaries with...

Transforming organizational culture requires attention and change at the systemic level. Learn which systems are crucial for any organization to establish and clarify whether that organization is collaborative or not, and then learn how to create and strengthen a collaborative organization.

In this course recording, you'll encounter new abilities and learn how to collaborate effectively from WITHIN a team. You'll be invited to build on interpersonal relationships, and branch out into the exciting challenges present when people work together toward a shared purpose.

Don’t know how to effectively work through differences with others in your organization? You are not alone… Like most of us, you simply lack the training and skills – and that’s what you’ll acquire listening to this course recording. Join Miki and learn specific tools and tips that work – for everyone!

Although we are evolutionarily designed for collaborating with others when attending to our basic needs, the weight of the systems and cultural messages we have inherited interfere. Many of us are doubtful that collaboration is possible or effective, and most of us lack both the faith and the skills to live collaboratively, regardless of cultural imperatives. Miki helps us navigate this terrain.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes the people in our lives don’t yet have the skills to speak directly about what they want. When this happens we can make guesses about how they feel and what they want. This can lead to greater connection and chances we all can be more satisfied with our interactions.

Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.

Trainer Tip: When someone is unresponsive it can be an opportunity to bring in more presence and connection through empathy. They may be worried that if they speak they'll say something they'll regret. Or they may want to know that their needs matters as much as yours. They may also need more space to clarify their thoughts.