NVC Resources on Empathy

Ronnie Hausheer, an NVC facilitator who volunteers her time for OccupyVoice.info joins NVC Academy co-founder Mark Schultz in a discussion of her work sharing empathy, NVC training and mediation with members of the Occupy Movement.

This audio training with expert trainer Rita Herzog explores the NVC alternative to family relationships: stay grounded in your own needs and values so you are able to reach out with empathy to family members.

In this written transcript of a live presentation, Inbal Kashtan shares how she first became aware of poverty. She explains how empathy is a vital and powerful force for creating peace in our world today, and a powerful means of creating a world that works for all of us.

Sometimes we want to avoid placing our love and trust in someone, to protect our hearts and our life energies. And so there are deeper questions that we can use to check whether we're in relationship with someone who doesn't have capacity to be in relationship with us (eg. “Do I have a sense of mattering in this relationship?”). Read on for more questions we use to assess our empathy and...

Unless we change our collective ways on the planet, we will one day exceed the earth’s carrying capacity. We can only address the planet's very real limits of physical resources at the level of social organization. To operate empathically is to adjust our collective social order and patterns so that resources are more widely available and everyone's needs are met no matter what their output,...

Trainer Tip: Empathy is a process in which we acknowledge and understand others' experience without judging or bringing up our own life experience. It can defuse a violent situation and anger in seconds, plus provide a clarity that catapults someone to a deeper level of understanding. The process is simple; listen for their feelings and needs. It can be healing for them to be deeply understood.

Blame is opaque when we don’t reflect on it deeply. We blame when we don’t see ourselves as having power to shape things, and see others as the ones who can. Blame and how we respond to it, is both a symptom of inability to step into power, and an impediment to empowered relationships. Transforming blame requires self-responsibility. Read on for practices involving empathy, inner connection,...

How can we create a partnership and eye-level dialog with people who we perceive to have more power? In this session, we will create a practice of humanizing ourselves and others through empathy, practicing scary honesty, and making requests that serve both persons’ needs

What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy...

Read on for a demonstration of self empathy -- all generated within the context of both the COVID-19 pandemic, and the changes to Bridget's life that have arisen as a result.

Repairing betrayal may include rebuilding self trust, getting support, empathy on both sides over time, and new agreements. Even though your (in)actions don't "cause" someone's behavior, acknowledging any part you played in creating conditions for the behaviors to arise, can support repair. Trust builds slowly as new skills, ways of relating and experiences that reflect honesty, self...

Amidst racial violence, there are things that NVC can offer. And there are places where NVC culture needs to be more vigilant. Here are examples of where, amidst incredible loss and pain, "allies" and communities commonly (and often unknowingly) create false equivalences, minimization and re-injure those who've been historically marginalized -- even when they offer empathy, or aim to stay...

Print-and-cut these 71 needs cards for one-on-one, partner or group activities, to help support the pratice of empathy. Includes nine blank cards for you to customize.

Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

Ask the Trainer: "I'm part of a small, self-led NVC group that's been working together for almost two years. We are experiencing some growing pains in that we're still not certain how and under what circumstances to make requests, especially negative ones."

Mary offers tips for developing effective tracking skills, including how the energy of the group is managed discerning the qualities of presence for each of the members, and monitoring group participation while striving for a balance of inclusion.

Mary continues her discussion of tracking skills, focusing on tracking requests, agreements with the group and tracking time. Mary also examines how to monitor the purpose of the session, discerning if and when to shift the agreement about the purpose for meeting. Mary closes with some final helpful tips to hone your tracking skills.

What do I do when I'm leading an NVC group and get emotionally triggered? Mary Mackenzie offers tips to respond with care and connection from her extensive experience leading NVC groups.

NVC groups can sometimes get caught in a rut and lose energy and momentum. Mary shares her extensive experience with seven steps for keeping your group engaged and energized.

Among NVC practitioners, empathy can be superficial. How open are you to being influenced by what others are saying? Do you reflect back and then guard and remain within your position of being right, even as you say otherwise? Only when we're eager to be influenced by what they say can we connect, expand our world and thus, shift the field. Without such openness we fool ourselves into thinking...