NVC Resources on Relationships

Blame is the game that protects me from the understanding that the cause of all my emotional distress, fear, shame and guilt comes from the part of me I call "the inner voice." As long as I keep the big bony finger of blame pointed in your direction, I can remain unaware of the fact that it is what I am telling myself about your behavior that is stimulating my painful reactions.

Trainer Tip: Never Compromise, because that is where you share the resentment 50/50.

John Cunningham provides support to deepen your understanding and practice of NVC, including a sketch of the participatory and onlooker modes of consciousness, lists of feelings, needs and sample dialogues.

Trainer Tip: "I often hear people say that someone did something because of a need for control. Control is actually a strategy that is often confused with a need."

CNVC Certified Trainer Shantigarbha Warren offers a report of his recent NVC training trip to Israel/Palestine, India and Sri Lanka and clarifies how NVC can support social change in three very different contexts. Included is an exercise, based on Gandhi’s teaching.

Jim and Jori offer practical tools to help us develop patience through a process they call WAIT: Wake up, Accept, Insight, Take a step.

Have you ever had an argument with someone who simply wouldn't put the toilet seat down? Watch veteran CNVC Certified Trainers Kelly Bryson, Christine King and Jean Morrison navigate this challenging yet common dialogue.

Kelly Bryson and Christine King engage in a role play about how to stay connected to a friend whose persistent jackal voices tell her that she is worthless and her life is hopeless.

Do you want to befriend your needs and live without shame about them? Would you like to increase your inner freedom by letting go of attachment to outcome? Join Miki Kashtan to learn skills and practices that will enable you to want fully without attachment.

Listen to Miki discuss two strategies for bringing NVC into the workplace in ways most likely to be well received. First Miki explains why it's best to focus more on needs than feelings in business environments. Second, she talks about unpacking needs into phrases as a way of enhancing workplace connection.

In most business environments, purpose holds a higher priority than connection. Listen to Miki discuss the strategy of using minimum connection to remain true to the purpose at hand, and how the purpose of empathy may differ in the workplace.

Miki works with a course participant to transform begrudging attendance at a mandatory meeting into the possibility for collaboration, more connection where little is expected and focus on clarity of purpose for meeting in the first place.

Listen to Miki make an important distinction between giving feedback, which is grounded in a desire to contribute to another, and our own need to be heard.

Creating a trusting connection and keeping the line of communication open are the primary prerequsites for giving feedback as a supervisor. Listen to Miki work with a course participant to ready herself for an upcoming feedback session.

In this edition of Conflict Improv, CNVC Certified Trainer Christine King navigates the challenging practice of expressing honesty when that expression might easily be heard as criticism.

Join CNVC Certified Trainers Jeff Brown, Jean Morrison, Karl Steyaert, Kathleen Macferran, Mary Mackenzie and Sylvia Haskvitz in a lively Q&A session focusing on naturalizing NVC into our daily interactions.

CNVC Certified Trainers Jim and Jori Manske show you how to tune into the "Gratitude Channel," sharing exercises and practices to hone your awareness toward gratitude.

Expressing ourselves honestly is sometimes scary because we can't predict where the conversation will go after we've made ourselves vulnerable. This recording will demonstrate how the power of our honesty is enhanced by ending on a clear and present request.

Jim leads a self-connection exercise focused on how our lives are interwoven with people we love, acquaintances, people unknown to us, and even those who have come before us or will come after us.

Using an example from a participant, the trainers engage in a role play to explore how to stay in your heart even when being perceived as a difficult customer by store employees.