Using his own life experience, Eric explores why we need support from others, what support might look like, and what blocks us from asking for support for our relationships. It Takes a Community to Raise a Relationship "For thousands of years we have gathered in a circle around fires, around bodies, around altars because we can't do this alone."—Wayne Muller Thirty-four of us are packed into infinite darkness and penetrating heat. Water is generously poured over red hot rocks and the steam pushes me deeper into my hidden places. This is the third and hottest of four rounds in this sweat lodge ceremony. I feel pain rising. There is healing that I need for the blocks that come up in relationship with my beloved, and I’m here to receive support for that healing. Some of the others in the lodge I know well; many I haven’t met before. Nonetheless, in the sweltering blackness of this lodge, in our shared intentions and inward focus, we are an intimately connected community. My body shakes and my breathing quickens as I begin to cry. I call out for help and something about this simple act opens up a deeper mourning. I can feel the sadness in this old pain that I carry from my past, pain that blocks me from being free to love. I can also feel this pain as pressure in my head, the beginning of a mean migraine. Under different circumstances I might not have the courage to embrace and express this pain and ask for help. In this moment, held by this community with acceptance, compassion and a shared intention to support healing, any beliefs I hold about what I should look or act like lose their grip. My pain begins to dissolve in the waves of my feelings and the pressure in my head begins to release. After the ceremony, there is new energy stirring and growing in me, mixing with the vestiges of fear that are still releasing. I have a mild headache that will be gone by the morning, and a sense that the next phase of my journey with my beloved is unfolding. Read this article Keywords: argument connection dialogue inspiration love conflict resolution relationships family communication peace partnership community interdependence belonging NVC in relationships Eric Bowers