Search the NVC Library

Trainer Tip: We all want to be valued in our totality, to be loved even when we make mistakes. Wouldn’t we also like to offer this to ourselves? Compassion is about seeing the humanness in everyone, including ourselves. One way to express compassion is to remember your entire relationship and history of love with someone as a whole, rather than focusing on one disappointing incident.

Whenever we make mistakes, we're often beating ourself up in a way that breeds guilt, fear and/or shame. Nonviolent Communication offers a model based in self-empathy that lets you reflect, process and move forward without the guilt, fear and shame.

Trainer Tip: When have you responded in a way you didn’t want? How could you have handled that situation differently? What would have better met your needs? Try not to judge your behavior, but learn from it. Each time we review our actions, we can learn something, become more adept at new skills, and come closer to our ideal. We can do this with the learning curve of practicing translating people’s words into feelings and needs.

Do you yearn to step forward in leadership, but know you're holding back? Clinical psychologist, organizational consultant, and speaker, Roxy Manning, PhD, shows us that more than external factors, its our internal beliefs and fears that provide the main barrier to moving forward.  She does this by taking us through three myths of leadership, and weaves in anecdotes to illustrate how tapping our unique (often lesser recognized) qualities, can be the way forward we've been seeking. Learn ways to move forward, even if at first it appears that (1.) others can "do it better", (2.) you need to be more prepared, or even if (3.) the material you're conveying isn't so original (and has been used many times).

Working for racial justice is a shift in perspective—a shift in understanding and empathy that leads to a change in our actions: to listen instead of talk, to follow instead of lead, to yield rather than dominate. And to accept that I will continue to mess up. Part of working to undo racism is having the humility to know when our own understanding is limited. Read on for more this, and how it relates to meditation -- plus personal and collective liberation.

How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy. 

• Gain a deeper insight into the spiritual practice of NVC as taught by Robert Gonzales
• Enhance your emotional intelligence and self-compassion
• Learn compassionate self-talk techniques and cultivate more inner peace
• Approach change with a peaceful mindset, rather than anxiety and fear

• Discover how to be radically honest without pushing “the other” away
• Learn to ask firmly and gracefully for what you want, hear ‘NO,’ and stay alive
• Explore how the power of empathy dissolves anger, pain, and fear
• Discern the essence of what others say, no matter how it is expressed

• Uncover the expansive possibilities of Nonviolent Communication in growing compassion for a more empathic world
• Engage with 17 global trainers on 17+ unique topics
• Connect with an international audience from novices to experts
• Immerse yourself in a festival of learning, fun, and community

Roxy Manning delves into the concept of psychological safety, drawing from Amy Edmondson's definition as the shared belief among team members that the team is safe for interpersonal risk-taking. Roxy discusses the common misconception of safety within teams, where the absence of open discussions is mistaken for safety, creating an illusion of negative peace. Negative peace involves avoiding discomfort and maintaining comfort for those with structural or social power, often at the expense of others silently suffering. Roxy emphasizes the importance of differentiating between discomfort and true psychological safety, where teams can openly address challenging issues, even if it means temporary discomfort. She encourages naming and understanding these dynamics to foster a psychologically safe and inclusive team environment.

Ask the Trainer: "What guidance do you have for working with enemy images? Can you say some things about processes and/or exercises that can bring relief from this trap?"

One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Seid's exercise called  "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Trainer Tip: At least once today celebrate yourself and your progress, every step of it. We all have a starting point. No matter where you are in your life, you have made progress. Every mistake, every victory, and every confusing moment can lead you forth and can be something to celebrate.

Self responsibility is owning what's yours. It involves identifying your observations, evaluations, feelings, longings, and more. When we identify what's truly ours we are unlikely to mistake it as coming from outside of us. Self responsibility is not self blame. Without self responsibility, we project, blame and judge. Self-responsibility is central to clarity and full self-awareness. This exercise will guide you there.