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• Inquire into your celebrations and mournings in four important categories of your life – body, heart, mind, and spirit – and "take stock" of how satisfied you are in these areas
• Assess your current and past relationships to life, with an eye to leaning into intention setting for the next short (30 days) and midterm (6 months to 1 year) periods of time
• Give and capture empathy for your future self, the self that revisits your intentions in 30, 180, and 360 days (this provides companionship for your future self)

Trainer Tip: Oftentimes, when we mix an evaluation and observation, we promote defensiveness in other people. When we are able to separate the two, we are more likely to create opportunities to promote open dialogue about our concerns. Be aware of your evaluations and observations today.

• Witness these two visionaries engage with love, openness, and curiosity
• Explore open questions and curiosities you have about NVC
• Help support the ongoing sustainability of NVC Academy
• Expand your thinking within NVC and its relevance to our times

Trainer Tip: Autonomy is not a need, but rather a way of living. We always have choices in life, even if none of them appeal to us. Becoming aware of our choices and taking responsibility for them leads to greater joy and empowerment.

Trainer Tip: It can be more productive and satisfying to focus on what we want than on what we don’t have or don’t like. What will help rectify the situation? What would you like someone to do now or next time? This can eliminate much of the emotional pain caused by berating yourself or others. The moment your focus is on what is wrong with your life or what's lacking, take a moment to shift it to what you want.

Trainer Tip: Ask someone what they enjoy about you being in their life. For example, “Would you tell me 3 specific reasons you enjoy having me in your life?” To a vague reply like, “Oh, you know I love you. I just like spending time with you.” Or, “You’re one of my best employees!” ask for more specificity (eg. “Can you tell me what I do and what needs it meets that makes me one of your best employees?”). This may reveal more to both of you.

No one on their deathbed wished they worked more. Working is unlikely to bring a meaningful life. And yet greeting friends with survivalist expressions, such as, "I'm dead-tired", can feel like affirming our own worth. Taking time off can bring inner spaciousness, ease, rest and consequently time to meet life, to really meet it. Which brings more clarity into the question of what we would like to celebrate on our deathbed.

This anecdote illustrates how a young man had the social awareness to consider how male conditioning may bring up competitiveness in his interactions with another man. The young man offered transparency and checked for consent in a way that shows an embodiment of power-with, togetherness, consideration, care, collaboration... and all without displaying any formal NVC training, and without looking to impress.

Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We need feedback to keep such conduct in check.

The American mythos of Independence Day is that liberty, equality, and opportunity are for all. Yet since the country's formation, these needs have been for some at the expense of others. It started with the brutal robbery and genocide of Native Americans and slavery of Africans. And this theme continued for generations in various forms, including how we related to other peoples, countries, and the ecosphere. To achieve true justice, liberty, and opportunity for all we may need to overcome the ego's sense of separation. Compassionate noncooperation may also be key.

Judgment is an attempt to protect from hopelessness or insecurity, at high cost. Instead, check in with fear, grief, or hurt. Then wonder what needs are at stake for everyone. This makes space for grief instead of anger, for negotiation rather than control, and for "calling in" rather than excluding. Wonder: “For whom would this be life-serving or not?”, “What strategies would care for all needs?” or, “What can I contribute now?”

When a person of color (A.K.A. a person from the Global Majority, or GM) tells a marginalization story that triggers a defensive response from a white participant in a group, to foster awareness and healing, leaders can address the white person's distress with empathy, highlighting the common dynamic of prioritizing white pain. From there, leaders can offer GM participants opportunity to share their experience and make requests of the group.

It is the first day of 2024 and I am filled with gratitude and awe. Yesterday, I celebrated my 9th year of hosting my annual New Year’s Peace Meditation. We had over 800 people register from many, many different countries and the meditation was interpreted into 4 different languages. It was incredibly moving, connecting, and hopeful for me!

In this snippet from Duke Duchscherer's course, Restorative Dialogues: Transforming Conflict, Building Community Resilience, he shares a structured approach for conflict resolution or communication facilitation. It involves a facilitator guiding a conversation between two parties in conflict. The process begins with one party expressing their perspective while the other listens actively. The facilitator then prompts the listener to paraphrase what they heard, ensuring mutual understanding. This cycle continues until both parties feel heard. Subsequently, the facilitator encourages them to discuss potential solutions collaboratively. Once both sides are satisfied, the session concludes, with participants potentially swapping roles for further practice. The aim is for everyone involved to gain experience in effective communication and conflict resolution.

• Discover how mediation is a fundamental social skill that everyone can learn
• Gain the skills to stay centered when a conflict becomes heated
• Learn how to lead a dialogue toward sustainable agreements
• Help facilitate connection and creativity to discover and meet everyone’s needs

Dear friends,

My book, Peaceful Living: Daily Meditations for Living with Love, Healing and Compassion has been on my mind a lot lately. It turns 20 years old next year, which I feel joyful about. Along the way, I came across this meditation that I wanted to share with you:

November 26
Change your thoughts and you change your world. – Norman Vincent Peale

Developing Tolerance

I used to think that Chihuahuas were dumb dogs and bulldogs were ugly. Then one of my friends bought a longhaired Chihuahua named Tilly and another bought an English bulldog named Emma. Once I got to know these dogs and could see how truly sweet they are, it didn’t take long for me to fall in love with both of them.

• Gain a new perspective on the value of living and embodying peace
• Take a moment to reflect on 2024 and welcome 2025
• Join like-minds to send compassionate energy around the world
• Give yourself some much-needed space for inner renewal

It seems to me that people see ideas which are different from theirs as threatening. Instead of listening, the group polarizes around the different ideas and a lot of judgments develop, conflicts develop and people feel hurt. Forward progress becomes a battle ground. How can I support more collaboration?

What parts of yourself or others are hard to embrace, understand or even notice?  What parts do others have difficulty embracing, understanding or noticing?  Why do we condemn, loathe, hate, deny, judge, blame or feel shame around certain needs, feelings and parts of self and/or others? This article talks about the hidden parts of ourselves and others that shapes views and behaviours.