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  1. Don't Assume You Know What Other People Need

    Don't Assume You Know What Other People Need

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/3/2022

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes when we look to fix someone's problems we think we're doing it to make them feel better, but in reality we are uncomfortable and we want to feel better. Instead of assuming you know what their problem is or what they need, listen deeply. Your listening presence can bring relief to the both of you and provide additional opportunities for healing. And along the way they may find their own way to a solution.

  2. Using Anger as a Warning

    Using Anger as a Warning

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/9/2018

    Trainer Tip: If you are feeling anger, you are experiencing an unmet need. When you recognize it as a warning signal, it can be a life-serving tool.

  3. We can trick ourselves into keeping the status quo, feeling unworthy, and blocking access to critical awareness necessary that allows for new creative solutions to emerge -- when we think in terms of who has "earned" or “deserved” what.

  4. Being Resourceful With My Intense Emotions

    Being Resourceful With My Intense Emotions

    Jori Manske

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 3/18/2020

    What can we do to bring vitality and resourcefulness back into our lives when we are feeling overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, or frustrated? Read on for a nine step process.

  5. NVC Life Hacks 28

    NVC Life Hacks 28

    Celebrating Life

    Shantigarbha Warren

    Video · 4 minutes · 07/08/2022

    Sometimes life gets so busy that even the things you enjoy seem to go by without you receiving that feeling of joy. It's important that even when we are busy to celebrate life to the full. In this month's Life Hack Gesine explores 7 things to keep in mind when remembering to celebrating life.

  6. Have you ever said 'I'm Sorry' to someone, only for it to leave you feeling disappointed and lacking connection? In some cultures, saying 'I'm sorry' has become too easy and is used for all sorts of situations. Whether it's just to excuse yourself as you pass in front of someone taking a photo, or if you've truly hurt a close friend. So when we really need to communicate regret, how can we do so in a way that acknowledges the situation and the connection?

  7. How To Find Your Center Instead of Defending

    How To Find Your Center Instead of Defending

    Elia Paz

    Practice Exercises · 5 - 8 minutes · 10/6/2022

    Notice when you start to defend. Is your body tensing up? Feeling desperate for the other to understand you or your intentions? Find yourself explaining your behavior, giving all the good reasons why you did what you did? Trying to convince the other of your good intentions? If so, ask yourself: “Is this what I want to be doing right now? Is this really helping?” then practice one of these eight options.

  8. The Why And How Of Accessing Grief

    The Why And How Of Accessing Grief

    Elia Paz

    Practice Exercises · 5 - 8 minutes · 2/13/2023

    Grief is often confused with anguish. Anguish is a painful feeling that comes along with deep resistance to an experience or truth. Grief that leads to healing is an expansive state. It is a willingness to be with an experience and truth. If you're not resisting grief, then it's a neutral-to-pleasant experience. Pleasant sensations can include a sense of space and relief as something is integrated and tense holding releases.

  9. Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

    Hearing Challenging Comments and Stretching into Love

    Elia Paz

    Practice Exercises · 3 - 5 minutes · 8/12/2023

    When feeling unworthy, powerless, or afraid, we can hear others' comments as criticism, rejection, demands, limits, or attacks. Practice self-compassion, release attachments, and ask “How can I stretch the boundaries of who I believe myself to be, in service of love?”. Try replacing love with a word that inspires you (e.g. freedom, thriving, etc). Note answers that arise later. Or explore the question with a trusted person or in a journal. Read on for examples.

  10. Releasing Our Judgments

    Releasing Our Judgments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/22/2019

    Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a freedom I had never known before.

  11. Making A Connection In A Difficult Situation

    Making A Connection In A Difficult Situation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/17/2022

    Trainer Tip: Whether there is the potential of physical or emotional violence, listening deeply to the underlying needs of the people in conflict can be swift, direct, and healing. Look for opportunities to defuse conflicts by reflecting the feelings and needs of the other person.

  12. Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2021

    Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

  13. Enjoying the Jackal Show

    Enjoying the Jackal Show

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/31/2020

    Trainer tip: Be aware of your inner jackal chatter today and make a commitment to listen for the underlying needs they are trying to tell you about.

  14. What Could I Say or Do When Someone Does Not Talk?

    What Could I Say or Do When Someone Does Not Talk?

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Can you give me advice on what to do when people won't talk to me? I find it very difficult to discover what their needs are that aren't being met! Also, how can I be effective with people who don't actually want to think about why they're being the way they are?

    • Do you know what is yours to do in response to our growing global crises?
    • Is nonviolence woven as deeply as you want it into how you live and lead?
    • Have you ever experienced what it’s like to participate in an interdependent web of mutual support to fully embody our commitments?
    • Are you familiar with how to bring yourself back again and again to aligning with purpose in every moment? 
    • Do you see yourself as part of transforming the legacy of scarcity, separation, and powerlessness into a livable future?
  15. What Is In Your Power To Change?

    What Is In Your Power To Change?

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 2/4/2023

    Even in the face of societal upheavals we can look for what's in our power to change. For example, we can participate in systemic change, and heal whatever we need to heal that which keeps us from living our values more readily. We can take the time to be present to those in pain, and to show up fully in our lives even when we feel stress. We can take strides to make a difference towards creating the world we want to live in.

  16. I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

    I Want To Connect More Than I Want To Be Right

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/7/2022

    Trainer Tip: We have a better chance of getting our needs met if we prioritize connecting with one another's needs more than being right. This way we can reduce the chances of conflict arising. We also increase the possibility we can find ways everyone’s needs can be met.

  17. Motivation Through Joy

    Motivation Through Joy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/19/2021

    Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

  18. Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

    Supporting Our Loved Ones In Living Authentically

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/19/2022

    Trainer Tip: Sometimes the people in our lives don’t yet have the skills to speak directly about what they want. When this happens we can make guesses about how they feel and what they want. This can lead to greater connection and chances we all can be more satisfied with our interactions.

  19. How we treat ourselves when we fall short of our own ideals, desires and hopes can profoundly affect the quality of our lives. Learn how to identify your triggers and reactions, to mourn falling short, and to practice self-connection and self-empathy. 

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