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  1. Relating to the Value of Things Rather Than the Cost

    Relating to the Value of Things Rather Than the Cost

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/19/2014

    Trainer Tip: The exchange of resources, that is, exchanging money for an item or service, is enhanced and better appreciated when we are connected to its personal value rather than its cost.

  2. Eric offers some tips for nurturing and affirming ourselves as a daily practice.

  3. Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

    Acknowledging Our Inner Critic

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/21/2019

    Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.

  4. Feedback without Criticism

    Feedback without Criticism

    (5 Session Course)

    Miki Kashtan

    Multi-session Course · 8 - 11 hours · 9/17/2019

    This 5-session telecourse recording is designed to support you in learning what makes giving and receiving feedback challenging and how you can turn these experiences into opportunities for learning, connection, and effective functioning.

  5. By focusing on NVC process and practice without factoring in the interdependent, systemic dimension we unwittingly diminish the power of NVC. We reinforce the dominant paradigm, rather than challenging it -- making NVC one more tool for compliance. NVC principles can turn against its own purpose in cruel ways. NVC could also empower social change. We'll need our attention on this matter if we are to contribute to transforming the oppression we face and our collective march towards extinction.

  6. Getting Our Need for Love Met

    Getting Our Need for Love Met

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/14/2020

    Trainer Tip: List specific things that would signify love to you. Based on who the other person is and who you are, how could your need for love be met? Being specific is important. General statements, such as “I just want you to love me” or “I would like you to be more attentive and listen to me more” won’t work. (S)he may already think (s)he is attentive. What would being attentive look like to you? And how will he know if (s)he’s been attentive enough?

  7. Setting Goals for the New Year

    Setting Goals for the New Year

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/10/2020

    Trainer Tip: What are your goals, hopes and dreams? For greater success it’s important to make your goals concrete, specific, and focused on what do you want (rather than what you don't want).

  8. Communicating with Children

    Communicating with Children

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 10/8/2020

    Trainer tip: Empathy can offer profound learning opportunities to children, expand their feelings and needs vocabulary, and teach them the positive results of valuing everyone’s needs. Read on for a story that illustrates this.

  9. Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/24/2021

    Trainer Tip: If someone has enriched your life (or moment) in some way, consider telling them about it. Your appreciation might be just the gift they need to contribute to brightening their day.

    • Learn how to transform NVC into a tool for systemic awareness and healing
    • Examine the influence of difference, and uncover pathways that strengthen its capacity
    • Learn to receive and offer feedback on impact in situations fraught with power differences
    • Explore specific ways in which NVC systemically supports the full flowering of humanity
    • Delve into the dynamics of cultural differences, and discover how NVC can systemically contribute to a liberation perspective
  10. Letting Go of Resentments

    Letting Go of Resentments

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/23/2022

    Trainer Tip: When we feel resentment toward others, we are harming our own emotional health. Surprisingly, when we own up to our part of an uncomfortable situation, we can release the pain and resentment. Such honesty can provide healing. Read on for a related anecdote of how this can play out.

  11. Sustaining Our World

    Sustaining Our World

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 9/24/2022

    Trainer Tip: The world’s people are consuming more of earth's resources at an astronomical speed. This is a form of violence, of not valuing everyone’s needs. Respect and support everything that lives, including yourself. How you can take less from earth’s resources and replenish more so that earth can flourish? Even if its small, take action today to support earth’s sustainability.

  12. Myths Of Power With

    Myths Of Power With

    Everyone Can Be Included

    Miki Kashtan

    Articles · 7 - 12 minutes · 7/13/2023

    Total inclusion is impossible: inclusion of all can often lead to exclusion of those who can't bear the behaviors of some. Many groups flounder and disintegrate because of too much inclusion. Limited resources and capacities may make it necessary to exclude. Keeping more coherent shared values and strategies may be another reason to place membership conditions so that what appears to be exclusion may give movements a chance to expand.

  13. The Lonely Trainer

    The Lonely Trainer

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 4 - 6 minutes · 4/21/2023

    Even leaders we admire may exhibit behaviors that could be labeled as abusive, at least slightly. This includes not treating followers as equals, using charm, and hiding or twisting truth. In such scenarios a key reason for this is loneliness. If we're using our work and position primarily to gain for appreciation, acknowledgement, and acceptance then we need to examine our own loneliness. We need feedback to keep such conduct in check.

  14. One thing that makes empathic understanding difficult yet valuable is that it can be humbling. If I really open myself to hearing and understanding, while trusting my inner strength of self-knowing, I may be changed by what I hear. My core beliefs or understanding might change and grow. This openness could be key to transforming the energy of conflict into new possibilities for greater connection, creativity, and well-being.

  15. Observation is the awareness of our sensory perceptions and thoughts, separate from evaluations and judgments. Feeling involves bodily sensations and emotions, distinct from "faux feelings" that mix thought and emotion. Needs encompass universal human requirements for survival and wellness, while thoughts and evaluations express needs. Requests are rooted in connection and invite true willingness, rather than demanding compliance.
  16. Parenting for Connection

    Parenting for Connection

    Eddie Zacapa

    Articles · 5 - 7 minutes · 10/05/2023

    By guessing our child's feelings and needs we open the door to understanding what's behind their behavior, and can better suggest solutions that meet both their and our own needs. In this way we build trust and their desire to seek us out in times of need. Expressing our own feelings and needs also allows us to help them understand the value in fulfilling tasks or requests.

  17. Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

    Finding Your Way from Judgment to Discernment

    Elia Lowe-Chardé

    Practice Exercises · 2 - 4 minutes · 01/01/2024

    Judgment is an attempt to protect from hopelessness or insecurity, at high cost. Instead, check in with fear, grief, or hurt. Then wonder what needs are at stake for everyone. This makes space for grief instead of anger, for negotiation rather than control, and for "calling in" rather than excluding. Wonder: “For whom would this be life-serving or not?”, “What strategies would care for all needs?” or, “What can I contribute now?”

    • Transform and heal developmental trauma 
    • Reclaim the parts of yourself that have been left behind
    • Discover the difference between developmental trauma and PTSD
    • Reawaken your heart to love
  18. You Are Not Responsible for Other People's Feelings

    You Are Not Responsible for Other People's Feelings

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/1/2025

    Trainer Tip: While everyone's feelings are a result of their own met or unmet needs it's still important that we take responsibility for our actions. This means acknowledging when our behaviors are a stimulus for another's pain, and expressing regret -- to support our own needs for care and consideration. In the process, taking responsibility where it's due in this way can enhance and deepen our relationships.

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