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Trainer Tip

5 - 7 minutes

Two NVC trainers went into dangerous, war torn territory to share the skills they found so valuable but end up learning that they need to first apply those skills before those they came to help could receive what they had to offer. Only when the foundation of connection and trust was built could they mediate the conflicts using empathic communication.

Trainer Tip: Notice if something within your agency will bring you the serenity you want. If not, then notice the needs you are trying to meet by wanting to take that action. Then then choose another action that's more likely to have the desired effect.

Empathy alone can be unreliable in guiding compassionate action. As seen in historical events, military training, personal anecdotes, and scientific experiments, empathy alone may not prevent people from harming others. A sense of duty or obedience, often instilled through fear of punishment and shame, might inhibit empathic action. The antidote may be to fostering empathy without resorting to...

Trainer Tip: Be aware of opportunities today to choose empathizing over arguing with someone who is angry, and notice how it affects your ability to resolve the situation. Read on for more.

Here's a brief anecdote showing how one woman was able transform a situation, where a man was about to assault or rape her. She responded in a creative way that lead them both to see each others' humanity -- navigating them both to safety. As part of her ingenuity he ended up spending the night in her house, in another room.

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Trainer Tip

2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Be aware of your inner jackal chatter today and make a commitment to listen for the underlying needs they are trying to tell you about.

Trainer Tip: When you suspect someone is lying, consider how it may be less important what the truth is. Instead, notice whether your need for trust is met. Without blame, nor labelling. you can make specific requests to meet your needs, while also respecting the other person’s needs. Read on for more.

When it comes to how you're achieving your goals, notice what you value. Is achievement coming at others' expense? Where is your sense of worth and validation derived from? Do other people in some way set the bar that you strive to surpass? Without comparing to other people, what does success mean to you? Read on for a related story.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: To defuse anger and create space for resolution, hear the other person’s feelings and needs. If this practice is new to you, you're like to experience fear and resistance in trying it out. However, you'll be more likely to experience a powerful shift, and build your capacity, if you try it anyways.

In this inspiring video, Gina Cenciose, CNVC Certified Trainer and Inner Relationship Focusing Guide and Instructor, offers an in-depth view of the distinctions and similarities between NVC and Inner Relationship Focusing (also known as IRF and Focusing).

In this audio recording, Miki demonstrates how to stay in a dialogue when you don't trust someone's "yes," how to equalize power between people and how to allow space for others to say "no" to our requests. In this 2-part audio series, Miki demonstrates how to stay in a dialogue when you don’t trust someone’s “yes,” how to equalize power between people and how to allow space for others to say...

“Nonviolence” is not just a political tactic. It is a “soul force”. It is the force of love meeting and transforming what appears to not be love. It is speaking and listening with courage, compassion, and an open heart and mind and rooted in our truth in a way that bridges understanding. And doing so without demand nor trying to convince -- all in the face of any anger, fear, oppression,...

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Ready to start a fight because you're right? Consider another strategy.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: The change you're looking for begins with a single step.

Trainer Tip: There are many ways to meet a need. Open to new possibilities.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes the best way to get our need me is to first connect with the needs of another.

How do you know when you’re projecting disowned parts or replaying old relationship dynamics? It’s hard to know for sure, but if you find yourself upset or shutting down and unable to have a dialogue in which you can speak clearly about your feelings and needs and empathize with the other’s feelings and needs, there is likely a projection. The stronger your reaction, the more likely you are...

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Where do you focus most of your life? Are there areas that you could reassess? Are you happy? Engage a new paradigm shift in your life.

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Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Taking time to mourn our regrets and unmet needs can lead to a deeper self-connection and feelings of peace.

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Trainer Tip

1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: When we respond in a way that is less than our ideal in terms of using NVC, we don't have to give up and think we are no good at NVC or that NVC doesn't work!